Coping with Bieber

Chapter 16: Ready When You Are

Friday, April 13:

I look at the almost empty bottle of vodka that I am holding. Sighing, I get up and pour myself another cup, lacing it with a small amount of cranberry juice.

Four days have passed since I saw Elysandra, four days since I saw Justin's message. Four days since I turned off my phone again.

It's Friday now and my hands grow sweaty as I think about Monday. Part of me wants to pack up all of my belongings and leave this city. Part of me wants to go back to dancing, one of the only things that kept me sane.

I weigh my options before grabbing my phone and turning it back on quickly, before I change my mind.

Ignoring all of the notifications that are causing my phone to vibrate nonstop, I tap the phone button and click on his name.

I wait a second and before it is able to ring, I hang up the call.

Saturday, April 14:

Grabbing my cup noodles soup from the microwave, I sit on my couch and stare at the wall feeling incomplete.

My eyes get watery.

I pull a cigarette out of my purse, put it between my lips and light it.

Much better.

Sunday, April 15:

It's 4pm and I haven't taken a shower since ... well maybe two days ago. My feet dangle from the couch as I stare at the ceiling.

I have been crying for the past 20 minutes and at this point, I am pretty sure the vodka is not having an affect on me.

I feel the liquor seep through my veins but I still feel the painful void in my stomach.

I chug another shot from the bottle.

Monday, April 16:

I barely slept last night, I didn't even make it to my bed to be honest. I tossed and turned all night on my couch and as soon as I opened my eyes, I felt all of the alcohol from last night rise up my throat.

After I threw up everything that I had consumed in the past 3 days, I decided it was probably time for me to take a shower.

After spending 15 minutes trying to comb through my hair in the shower and after 15 more I decided that I was as clean as I needed to be.

My head was pounding so I took two of the strongest pain killers I could find before getting dressed. And by dressed I mean tights, a tank top and the first pair of running sneakers that I could find in my closet.

I put my wet hair up in a ponytail, grab my sunglasses, keys, and purse and head to my car.

It was a short drive to the studio so I was there before I could even come to my proper senses.

I look at the time blinking on the display of my car and see that it is already 12:18PM.

I sigh, debating whether or not I should get out of my car.

I open the compartment by the passengers seat and pull out a small bottle of alcohol that I decided to place there in case of emergencies. This is an emergency.

I take a swig or two before jumping out of the car and heading inside.

As I open the door, flash my ID and see the shocked expressions of the security that know me so well, I continue my way into the studio.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am sure that you all heard of the tragic accident that Justin and Estela faced a little over two months ago." I hear Scooters familiar voice ring through the room.

I stand in the back where nobody can see me as I continue to hear what he has to say.

"Though pretty shaken up, Justin has decided to proceed with the tour in hopes to move past the tragic event that cost him -" He cuts himself off. " A lot" he continues and I see everyone nodding their heads.

"He still needs to take good care of his arm so he cannot move as he normally can but that will not stop us from producing the best tour that we possibly can." I see Scooter smile and everyone begins to clap.

In that moment, Justin emerges from the curtains behind Scooter and the people begin to settle down.

"I want to thank everyone for coming back to me, to our team." Is all he says before nodding to Scooter and turning around.

I feel an odd sensation overcome me as I grow light headed. In an attempt to step back, I bump into the garbage can behind me, knocking it over. Though I am unharmed, I have now gained the attention of everyone in the room. The room that has now fallen silent. Completely and utterly silent.

I walk towards the crowd and see how everyone looks at me, with pity.

I look at Justin and nod.

"Ready when you are." I say without breaking eye contact with him.

End of Chapter

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