Everything I Don't Need

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

The temperature dropped over the weeks. I needed a blanket when I sat out on the porch. The leaves were turning colors I’d only seen in pictures. New York City was never this gorgeous. Well the parts that I lived in were never this pretty.

            “They still haven’t found who put the notes on my locker,” I sigh as I pet the blonde hair that was in front of me. “I shouldn’t care. Julie keeps telling me that whoever did it had no life. Like that was supposed to make me feel so much better.” I laughed at the memory. “It’s just that, well, I’m so used to people calling me bitch.”

            Blondie’s head popped up. He growled but put his head back down on my lap.

            I laughed at his response, “I came from a bad place, Blondie. I had to be the bitch to survive. I had to be tough. The people that my mother brought home were monsters. People you don’t find here in Ohio. The people that posted the stuff on my locker don’t even compare to them.”

            I looked at Blondie and it was like he was asking me what I meant. His eyes held questions like he wanted me to keep talking. I think I’ve gone crazy. I’ve never had a best friend. Matty was the closest thing I had. Part of me wanted to come to my senses and realize I was talking to a wild wolf I cleverly named Blondie.

            I sighed, “I still don’t understand why I talk to you about all of this Blondie. I suppose it’s actually quite simply: You’ll keep your mouth shut. That’s more than I can say for others. Though I suppose I could trust Carly and Julie. Carly may like to gossip but something tells me she would listen and not judge. But would she understand?”

            I was talking to myself at this point. This often happened when I came out to see Blondie. He would lay his head in my lap and I would blab on and on while looking up at the stars.  I was mesmerized by the stars. I rarely saw them in New York. They seemed so far away from this place on the porch. I seemed far away from where I came from. It has been about two months here in Ohio. It seems like it had been a year.

            “New York is so much different than Ohio, Blondie,” I kept my eyes on the stars and my hands moving light over his fur. He purred so I continue, “I don’t know which I like better. New York is so quick and powerful. But here, well, everything is calm and laid back. And I like that people don’t know about my past. They don’t know what I got into with my friends on Saturday nights. No one here asks about my mother’s one night stands or current boyfriends. No one knows so no one asks. I like that.

            “I was tough for so long, Blondie. It’s nice not have to worry about it. I have so much more energy. And I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder every step I took outside. I can breathe,” I sigh.

            I went on talking to Blondie or to myself. I didn’t know or care which on.

           

I woke up in the comfort of my bed. I jerked up remembering that I feel asleep outside. I didn’t remember walking inside the house let alone up to my room. I sighed. Apparently when I moved to Ohio, I also picked up the urge to sleep walk.

            I got up and walked to my closet. It was Saturday and I had nothing planned until tonight. Carly and Julie wanted to go out to eat and “do something fun.” I laughed at the thought. We were in Ohio what could we do that was fun?

            I pulled on an oversized shirt and some running shorts. It was a fairly nice day out. A run would be nice. I would often try and sneak into the gym by my mother’s apartment. But now that I stop and think about I never really did a great job at sneaking. I think the owner just let me go in most of the time.