Torn Pages

Forbearance

Forbearance: withholding response to provocation

Lance pov

I hate California for only a few reasons.
1: It's really polluted in most areas. L.A is gross with all the smog
2. Earthquakes...enough said. They don't happen often but you never know.
3. It's so fucking hot all the time. I complain so much about the heat. My family and Keith all get on my ass about it. All I do is complain when it's hot which is most of the time. The good thing about living in the country is that it cools down a lot during the night which is nice because I can leave my widow open.
Before I say anything else I just want to put out the fact that Keith gives great head. We just tried it for the first time tonight...well he did anyway.
I was hesitant as I find it a bit gross and all but Keith seemed eager to try and was willing to do it just for me.
I wasn't expecting it to feel as great as it did. I'm a bit more open to it now.
I offered to give him one too but he refused.
I've never felt a sensation like that before and it basically just gave me tingles the whole time.
I'm a bit hypocritical. I'd love for him to do it again but I wouldn't really want to do it to him. I'm not grossed out by Keith obviously but I'm just not comfortable with giving. That could change I don't know.
I offered but hoped he'd refuse and he did. I was thankful for that whoops. I love everything about Keith, even his downstairs parts but I just prefer normal sex over oral.

Now anyway.
It of course was a hot night.
August now.
I know Keith can't sleep with the windows open so that option is dead whenever I stay with him and vise versa.
I swear to god these people have their ac cranked 24/7 so that must cost Dane and Christine a damn fortune.
They turned the ac off tonight and told us to just put a fan on.
Keith's small fan was on his desk blowing the air around.
It was so hot. Keith of course being the baby he is is tucked snug under his duvet as usual.
I want to cuddle with him but I'm going to overheat if I get underneath the covers with him. He has his back to me like he always does. My hands are cold. Damn. I want to hold Keith so bad. Fuck I'll just suffer the consequences. I moved over and draped the duvet over my body and snuggled up close to his sleeping body. Do I dare to touch him with my cold ass hands? He's sleeping so maybe he won't notice. I was naked but he'd put his underwear back on. I got real close and wrapped my arms around him and pressed my hands to his stomach for warmth. He stirred a bit. Well at least my hands aren't cold anymore.
Keith groaned softly.
It was nice to feel his stomach rise and fall. He's so warm all the time.
I mean he's hot constantly if you get my drift. I cradled him closer.
His stomach is so soft.
He's not pudgy or anything.
I've said that before but honestly it's so nice.
No hair at all.
Smooth skin.
Heaven itself.
Keith has just the right about of squish I guess you could say.
I've noticed he's gained a bit of weight which is good.
He's probably quite a bit lighter than me but that's because I'm taller and a bit more muscular than him.
I wish Keith had a bit more confidence. I want him to realize how gorgeous he is. I wish he realized how loved and accepted he is. I can tell he feels a bit lonesome but he's got such a massive support group now.
He's got Christine, Dane, and the kids, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, and Me and my family. I don't want him to feel alone ever again.
It really hurts me to know that he used to harm himself.
That's not something you want to hear from your partner. I was almost in tears when he told me. For a while I really wondered what those marks were. Now I know. He has a few small short lines on his upper arms, and quite a few on his lower arms which are only visible if you look at them closely or in a certain light.

I wish I could just watch over him all the time and come to the rescue if he's feeling down.
When Keith went outside the other day to go help Meenah and Cole clean up the pool toys. I briefly told Christine a bit of how I feel and she said that he's doing so much better than he was before the move.
She said I've made a huge impact on him and that he's so much happier now. That itself makes me so happy. She said she has so much hope for our relationship. That makes me happier.