Terminal. (Michael Clifford Fanfiction)

Chapter One

His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel the entire ride to the hospital. My breath was short and rapid, if he heard it then I wasn't helping much.

"Logan, are you okay?" I squeak. I see his dark brown eyes glance at me and his jaw line tightens. He let's out a sick laugh.

"What kind of a question is that Maddie?" He scoffs and stops at a red light.

"A dumb one. Listen I know that-"

"We don't know anything! That's the problem Madeline! We don't know one single thing and the doctors can't figure anything out! I just do-" he screams.

"Hey stop yelling at me." I almost whisper. "It's not my fault." He sighs and rests his head on the top of the steering wheel.

"God, I'm sorry. I just don't understand why this is happening to us.."

"None of us do Logan." I assure him.

A few minutes later we pull into the parking lot of the hospital and walk into the ICU for the 3rd time in two weeks.

"Here to see your mom?" Janet, the receptionist asks.

I nod and she gives me a weak smile. The smile people give you when they know you're pretty much fucked over. The smile that people give you when they can't give you anything else because hope isn't even an option anymore, that smile.

I walk down the long hallway and see all the sick people with a bunch of tubes and equipment attached to their limbs and mouths.

I walk into room 304 with my brother by my side. My mom was lying there with a smile across her face, and an oxygen tube going up her nostrils.

"Hi sweeties!" she said like we had come home from the first day of school.

"Hi momma." I give her a smile back and kiss her on the cheek. Logan does the same.

"Where's Dad?" I ask her. She frowns and scratches the top of her hand.

"He's at work, sweetheart."

I shut my eyes and try to calm down before I lash out. My blood is racing even faster than it was when I walked into the room. Both of my hands clenched into fists and I saw Logan's doing the same.

"Hey now you two. He's the one that supports this family, he needs to work! Now smile!" My mom giggles and does one solemn clap. And I did, I smiled. My mom had short brown hair with dark brown eyes, just like Logan's. Her face was sort of round, and always, always with a smile. Even if she was dying in a hallway full of people who were dying as well.

Logan and I would leave after school to see her, when she was in the hospital. Some days she would be home and lying in the hospital bed we got moved into our living room, getting up on occasion to talk with her loved ones, even if she was in pain. It was nice, having her home at least and not in this shit hole that reeks of piss.

"Logan honey, go get a pizza I can't eat this shit." My mom mumbles and pushes her hospital food away from her. Logan and I laugh.

"Sure mom, I'm on my way"

And he brings back the pizza, we eat it, and talk with our mom as much as we can before the nurse says visiting hours are over. It became a routine as the weeks went on there for us I guess.

"Bye mom, we will see you tomorrow, love you." I smile and kiss her before I walk out with Logan to get to the car.

I was looking down at my feet when the top of my head hit a chest of another human being and then I trip over my own feet.

"Fuck." I mumble and rub my ankle. "Sorry about th-" I look up and see a guy, about my age who was not totally bad to look at. "That. Sorry about that." I get up to my feet.

"Don't worry about at thing." He laughs and walks the other way.

I look down the hall and see that my brother has no regards for my well being as he continued to walk down the hall with his phone in his hand on twitter.

I run to catch up with him and he laughs.

"Good job back there."

I flip him off and we get into the car.

The car ride home was silent until I start thinking too much. That's always gotten me in trouble.

"Miracles happen all the time right?" I blurt out to my older brother.

"Miracles aren't real, they are total bullshit made up by the human mind to provoke thoughts of hope.. even when someone has none at all." He says bitterly.

"So mom.."

"She's not going to make it Maddie. I thought we went through this? She has six months to a year, okay? God it's like I have to tell you this every single day."

"You're just bitter." I narrow my eyes.

"Yeah maybe I am. After all my mom is dying and I don't even get the feeling of security by knowing how and why." I see his hands tightening around the wheel a more, then a single tear falls from his eye. I've never seen my brother cry, I've been on this planet for 16 years and the boy who was strong for all this time broke. In that moment I broke too, because he was right. Miracles don't exist anymore.

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How did you like the first chapter?

-Dani