Senju Gone Uchiha! (Naruto)

Chapter 7

Hashirama/Mika's POV

"Like, what if Tobirama could come back to life and go to a brothel?"

"Would be capable of fucking a woman?"

"Yes. Mito should know." God damn one night stands.

"What?"

"Nothing young grasshopper."

"Oh shit."

"What, you Senju Heathen?"

"Bitch. But we are late for going on a C-rank with team 7."

"Ugh. Duckass."

"The Uzumaki is there~"

"UZUMAKI!!!!"

Time-skip

I calmly waited as Naruto bounced up and down, smiling his adorable ass off.

Yesssss.... my pretty, were yourself out so I can steal youuuu....

I cackled quietly as I rubbed my hands, tilting my head back and doing what Madara once did when drunk. Cackle like a mad man.

Tsukimoto stared at me for a second before getting up and walking away, muttering about gow he was going to plan his harem.

"What was that, Dattebayo!?" Naruto yelled, whipping around with a confused look on.

Like, oh Kami-Sama. It is like looking at a mini blonde Mito. Help. Heart. Failing. Again!

"Ugh. Stupid Naruto! It was the ANBU Uso-Sama! He was proberly thinking of marrying me, maybe even kidnapping me so we could be together! Oh, I really hope he is a yandere type!!" Sakura shrieked, hearts gathering in her eyes.

Me and Tsukimoto cringed. No. Fuck off. I dont want no flat chested bitches. I had enough of Madara strutting around on a saturday with a thigh high dress, wearing Mito's makeup and trying to flirt with every man he could see.

As a wize man once said- "FUCK OFF YOU FLAT CHESTED HOES! THIS ASS. IS MINE!"

I merely laughed at my inner weirdness as Tsukimoto glared at her, proberly hissing like a cat. Oh yeah. He is a Senju, going ape shit when someone goes after what is theirs.

Wait. I am not his though. Oh shite. No. Please no. Plz.

He does not think we are.....

.
.
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.
.
.
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Family!?

I could hear a dramatic drum going off in the background.

I jumped down infront of Naruto, trying to get away from Tsukimoto. Fuck no. I dont want that.

"GAH!" Naruto shrieked, leaping away from me. No... please... come back...

"I do not care how old you are. I. Want. You." I whispered seriously as I held Naruto's shoulders.

"USO-SENPAI! GET OFF THE TARGET!" Tsukimoto yelled as he jumped down next to me, trying to tug me off my precious.

"NOOOOOO! MY UZUMAKI! GET YOUR OWN, YOU SENJU HEATHEN!" I shrieked, hugging Naruto to my chest and hissing.

"Nani?" Tazuna whispered, watching us.

"Oh, dont mind Uso. She can get carried away when it comes to Naruto, or any Uzumaki in general." Kakashi said, waving his hand. "If a criminal organisations had an Uzumaki for a leader and he or she asked Uso to join... Konoha would wave goodbye before Uso could even get a word out."

"DAMN STRAIGHT I WOULD GO!" I yelled.

"She?" Duckass muttered, looking at me. He ain't getting none of this. No.

"USO-SAMA IS A GIRL!?"

I swear. My ears just burst. Hiruzen best get Tsunade to heal them if I have gone deaf.

"Uh-Huh! And an Uchiha!" I chirped, hugging Naruto as I walked backwards. It was pretty easy since Tsukimoto kept moving me out of the way of things, mostly trees.

Duckass perked up, looking at me. He had this weird smile. I was slowly becoming scared.

SNAP OUT OF IT HASHIRAMA! YOU ARE A SENJU CLAN LEADER, FIRST HOKAGE, UCHIHA WITH MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN, RED ANBU AND THE ONLY USER OF MOKUTON KNOWN TO THE ENTIRE WORLD!

DO.
NOT.
LET.
THE.
DUCKASS.
MAKE.
YOU.
SCARED.

"Hello." Duckass whispered as he appeared next to me.

That was when. Senju/Uchiha Hashirama/Mika screamed like a little girl.

"HENTAI UCHIHA! RUN FOR YOUR UZUMAKI'S!"

I threw Naruto over my shoulder and ran, ducking under trees as I jumped. Chakra swirled under my feet as I latched onto trees. I heard Tsukimoto and the rest of team 7 on my tail as I fled with Naruto.

My heart feels so happy.

All of a sudden, a sword flies for my face.

"OH SHIT STICKS!" A piece of wood shot up and caught the sword, protecting me and Naruto.

"Momochi Zabuza." Kakashi said once he caught up, glaring.

Oh.

Shit.

"I dont care about you Hatake. I want to Uzumaki." Oh hell no.

Everyone froze as I growled, clenching Naruto like a baby as he rolled into my arms.

"U-Uh, Zabuza... dont... do... that..." Kakashi whispered as I could feel my anger rise.

"Dont. Touch. My. Uzumaki."

The blood bath began.