Keep your hopes high ( gxg, Demi Lovato fanfic)

Chap 15

Demi's POV

I wake up after a bad night, i had some nightmare about my father... i m in tears now and I dont know how I ll go trough this day...Im so sad All I want is to be alone in the dark on the cold floor of my bathroom... as I was thinking about all of this bad things, I felt Elly move her hands to my cheeks and dry my tears, she kissed my forehead and hold me tight "Baby I know its hard, but I m here with you okay, Im sticking by your side for ever" she whisper in my ear. I cuddle more into her resting my head on the crook of her neck, half laying on her, she hug me tight again.

we stay there for some more minutes in a peacefull silence. we get up and dress up after taking a shower each at a time. we walk down the stairs to find my family already eating breakfast all in silent. the mood was really down for all of us, when My mom saw us she walk up to me and hug me tight "Demi, baby I love you so much" she said to me with a small smile "I love you too Mommy" she then take Elly s hand and took her out the kitchen, i was a bit confused but I just sit and try to eat breakfast. They both walk back in the kitchen Elly sat next to me and put her hand on my thight squeezing it gently with a reasurring smile runnin on her pink lips. gosh I want to kiss her. 

we finish eating and got all to prepare ourself to go to the funeral. Im feeling really empty. I hope it going to be not too hard I dont wanna relapse, and I m pretty sure my mom already told Elly to stay by my side and watch me. I know my mom really well.

We got to the car Maddie and My parents in one and Elly Dallas and I in another one and drive off to the cemetery. on the road I feel myself getting really nervous, I think Elly notice it because She put her arm around my shoulders and put me closer to her, rubbing my hand with her other hand. I calm me a bit, and I slithly relax in her arms, I dont know how she do it but I always feel safe with her. 

We pull in the parking of the cemetery and got out the car joining my family members around the place where we were burrying my father... 

In the middle of the ceremomy I totally breakdown crying, I couldnt stop crying my body shakes so much that it make me feel dizzy, I felt two strong arms wrapping around my waist holding me really tight " Sweetheart breathe, im here, try to calm down a bit baby" I heard Elly say in my ear, she doesnt let me go off her embrace until the ceremony was over, I could see my mom watching us and mouth to Elly a Thank you. I knew my mom had tell her that. I turn around in Elly s arms and put my arms tightly around her waist burrying my head as far as I can on her chest. I was so depressed right now...

We got back to the car and the way home was really quiet, I let my head on the window car staring outside lost in my own thoughts... all those memories flying back to my mind.. I felt fingers touch my hand laying on my laps, but I pull away... I didnt want to be comfort right now I just needed to be left alone in my thought..I saw Elly's look turn a bit sad but she just fake a smile for me, I could tell I hurt her abit but she doesnt say anything..

we got home and I headed directly in our room, I shut the door off and begin to undress my self and head  in the shower to relax and try to stop my bad thought running trough my head... I cant think straight I feel myslef go back to old habit...

Hey demi, you worthless thing you missed us .... so we re back now... lets get some fun you fatass... we heard that you didnt cut for a while now... i think you should do it.. you father dies because of you...

the voice came back in my head  I didnt want to listen to them but I was so weak. right now... I step out of the shower got the the ittle box on the table searching for an old friends... I cant take it anymore, its too hard., tears rushing down my face....I let myself slip on the cold ground of the bathroom holding the blade above my wrist....