Happiness comes at a price

Chapter 2 - The Downfall

TRIGGER WARNING- DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE DO NOT READ

A couple of days later, Taehyung woke up to the shouts of the other members. He strained his ears trying to understand what they were making so much noise about. "What the hell! They can't do that to Taetae!" It sounded like Yoongi. He sat up to go and ask what was happening as he felt a sharp stabbing pain in the back of his head reaching up behind his eyes. He sighed, another migraine, this was the third one since he started that diet. "Argh, my God." He muttered into the duvet, scrunching his eyelids and curling in on himself. This only led to him finding his phone within the mess of his bed sheets. His reflection showed his messy bed-head and slight eye bags; staring into his own face he noticed the little details of his appearance. Like he had a singular freckle on the tip of his nose and the chapped skin on his bottom lip, he remembered being complimented on his face many times, by his fans, family, the rest of BangTan and even people in school. However, he could help but notice the plumpness in his cheeks and softened jaw-line. He had been on this diet for almost a week and he knew that it would take a while to get results, but he felt like he was just getting fatter and fatter.

He waited for the pain to numb and got out of bed, feeling rather light-headed. Taehyung was almost waddling to the living room where the other members were at. Pushing open the door, he looked up to see Yoongi and Seokjin in each other's faces, both looking like they were about to punch one another. The creek of the door sounded loud against the chilling silence of the room, and all the member turned to face Taehyung. "Morning," Taehyung said surprising the others. Jungkook spoke up first, "Tae, you know it's 5:30." They all looked at Taehyung's face as his eyes widened and looked at his watch. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm off to go to the gym." Seokjin took this as an opportunity to tell Taehyung about all the noise earlier, "Before that, did you hear anything when you woke up." Tae had to think for awhile too before his migraine, pain still pulling at the back of his head. "All I heard was something from Yoongi-hyung but I don't know what." The other members 'hmmed' in content whiled Yoongi sighed, "Namjoon you're the leader you can tell him." Namjoon looked at Yoongi with anguish, "Ok, ok. Taehyung-ah the management wants you to sponsored silence." "Ok, why was Yoongi-hyung so upset with it though?" Taehyung said, turning to look at Yoongi. "It's just that you're the loudest member and I think that you miss not speaking for a day." Yoongi sighed as he finished, Seokjin still looked uneasy after having to calm down Yoongi. "I'll do it. It's for a good cause right?"

They won't miss your voice anyway.

Taehyung heard a mysterious voice speak from within him. He brushed it off thinking it would be a one-time thing.

*

"Taeeeeeeeee~ Wakkkeee upppppppp~!" He heard Jimin yell as the older banged on the door. Taehyung opened the door only for Jimin to fall in from leaning on the said door. Tae opened this mouth to say something, Jimin shut it with his finger. "No talking today. Remember" Taehyung nodded. "Good, now let's get some food."

The food will only make you fatter.

Fatty.

Once they reached the kitchen Taehyung grabbed an apple. "Is that all your having?" Hoseok questioned. Tae quickly nodded and pointed to the diet list. "Oh, ok then. But if you get super hungry I'll get you something from one of the vending machines. Ok?" Taehyung nodded again.

Don't eat. Fatty.

Food will make you fatter. Fatty.

The fans won't love you if you're fat. Fatty.

You'll ruin everyone's carers if the fans don't love you. Fatty.

Why don't you just leave BTS. Fatty.

Taehyung had wondered to the bathroom with his clothes to get ready for the day. He was shaving as his eyes caught the glint of light reflected by the blade as he was washing it.

Do it. Emo.

You'll be both fat and a cutter.

Fatty cutter.

As Taehyung stepped into the shower he brought this razor with him. He slumped into the corner shaking from the cold water. Looking down at his thigh he brought the razor to the top of his leg and sliced. The water stung and warm blood started to trickle into the bathtub. He did it a couple more times. He felt the voice being muted and the pain-numbing.

"TAE HURRY YO ASS UP!"

He heard Jungkook from outside. Fuck. He thought, looking down. He quickly cleaned himself up and got dried and dressed. He opened the door to Jungkook, who pushed him out the way muttering a 'finally' under his breath. Which was heard by Taehyung.

See even Jungkook hates you. Fatty cutter.

Its because you're so fat and ugly. Fatty ugly cutter.

When they find out about you being a cutter too. Fatty ugly cutter.

Their gonna kick you out. Fatty ugly cutter.

Fatty ugly cutter.

Taehyung made his way back to his and decided to write the words of this voice down. He found an old notebook that used to be one of Jungkook's for school but never used. And he started to write. He wrote the words from the voice, his feelings, how it felt to have metal slide along his skin, opening him up to the world and freeing him of the pain. The got so absorbed in his work he hears the other calling him to leave. "Taehyung-ah, what are you doing?" Namjoon asked as he walked in on the younger. Tae's head snapped up at the sudden voice which wasn't coming from his own mind. "Come on we need to leave." Namjoon carried on, throwing Tae a pair of Gucci sliders. Taehyung immediately put the notebook under his pillow and rushed to get the shoes on and out the door the other members.

He got into the minivan and gave a quick bow to the driver and the rest of BangTan. "What was he doing Joonie?" Seokjin asked as he patted the seat next him. "Writing, what I don't know. You can ask him that." Namjoon sighed as he sat down and put his seatbelt on. "Ok, Tae-ah. What were you writing?" Taehyung just tapped his nose and winked in reply.

They can't even be bothered to try and talk to you. Fatty ugly cutter.

Everyone hates you look at them. Fatty ugly cutter.

You should just leave BTS. Fatty ugly cutter.

No one likes you. Fatty ugly cutter.

Just go and die.

Taehyung was shocked to hear a new voice appear. It almost felt like he had company to be with.

Fuck you guys.

Taehyung said to the voices and started a conversation with them while the other chatted among themselves. A smile appeared on Taehyung's lips as they started to discuss how to do it all: cut, avoid eating, purging, die, avoid the other members, avoid the fans, stop being fat. He found these new voices rather helpful.

AN: for the voices- AAA is Taehyung talking to the voices (not out loud though)

-AAA is anorexia, bulimia, self-hate, self- esteem, depression and the urge to self-harm.

-AAA is suicidal thoughts

I hope that cleared it up for anyone if anyone is even reading.