Trust

✍ Moment

"I got you hot chocolate." Chase placed a cup in front of me. It was filled with a brownish liquid that, under different circumstances, I would probably have gulped down without a second thought.

I stared at the cup. "Thanks." I noticed Chase didn't have one. "You didn't get one for yourself?"

He shrugged. "Not thirsty."

"We can share this then," I said.

Silence descended. It was hard to talk. He pulled out a chair next to me and sat down.

"Sorry about your shirt. I kind of ruined it."

"Nothing a good wash can't fix," Chase said. I stared at the ugly blotches on his shirt, trying to think of what to say. I wanted to start crying again, but instead, I bit my lip and stared up at the white ceiling. An arm reached around my shoulders and pressed me against a body. Chase wasn't very muscly but his biceps still flexed as he pulled me close into a hug.

"We don't need to talk if you don't want to," he said.

I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and held him tighter, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching.

This time, I didn't cry.

*****

"That is awful," I said.

"Absolutely undrinkable." Chase picked up the cup of cold hot chocolate and tossed it into the nearby trash can. "Hospital food," he grimaced.

I smiled. It was a pathetic little one where the corners of my lips barely tipped upwards, but it was there so it was considered as progress.

"When I finished reading The Fault In Our Stars, I-" I stopped and bit my bottom lip. "I loved it. I loved how John Green portrayed life so realistically." I shook my head. "There was no blissful ending, no happy-ever-after, no they-get-married-and-live-to-old-age-together-and-have-twenty-grandchildren stuff. Nothing of that sort, but... that's life, I suppose." Something caught in my throat. I kept expecting Chase to cut in and say something metaphorical and heart-warming, but he just looked at me steadily with a gentle expression on his face.

If Augustus Waters was real, I decided that he must have been sitting right next to me then (except for the obvious slight disparity in that Chase owned two legs instead of one and his body wasn't made of cancer).

"I should've seen the signs earlier that something wasn't right with my mum. I was just too self-absorbed to realize it." I was suddenly angry- at the world, at circumstances, at myself. "Goddamn it, Chase." I bunched my hands and dug my nails into my palms, gritting my teeth.

Warm hands enclosed mine, squeezing and applying pressure until my fingers uncurled. Chase linked our fingers, his touch sending tingles up and down my arm.

"I'm sorry, Poppy," he said. "I'm sorry that your mum is sick. I'm sorry that I can't fix her even though I wish I could. I'm sorry that this had to happen to your family. I wish I could say more than just sorry because Lord knows saying sorry isn't of much use to you right now. You're too smart for any other things I have to say to try and comfort you so I'm just going to stay here with you until you tell me to go." He had an earnest look in his eyes. It was almost desperately honest. I realized, then, that I was wrong: Chase wasn't Augustus Waters. He was vastly different, and I was fine with it.

"Okay."

"Okay." Chase smiled. My heart went into overdrive and I focused on learning how to breathe again.

It was quiet after that.

*****

I called dad. It was five in the morning, an hour before dad usually got up so I figured it wouldn't be such a bad time to call him. He was strangely calm when I broke the news to him and said he'd be at the hospital as fast he possibly could.

I went back to mum's room, but she was asleep and I decided not to wake her. Doctors always tell us to sleep and drink lots of liquids when we're sick so I left her alone. Maybe when she woke up, she would be better.

"You should go back," I said. "School starts in just over three hours."

Chase glanced at the clock. His dark brown hair was tousled and messy. He looked tired and overworked.

"I guess I should get going," Chase smiled. "Eric's probably thinking I took off with his car for a joyride or something."

I laughed. "Maybe."

There was a second where we just stood awkwardly before I gave in and hugged him. "I can never repay you for what you've done for me tonight, so I will say it for the umpteenth time, thank you," I said into his shirt. I tilted my head up to look at him fully. Goddamn it, why did he have to  be so tall.

"It's a good life, Hazel Grace."

"You know Gus said that when he was dying, right?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

Something glinted in Chase's grey eyes. "Yeah. But he also said nostalgia is a side-effect of dying and I'm starting to feel it right now."

I began to laugh. "Chase Edwards, you're going to see me in a few hours."

"That's not soon enough," he insisted.

"Oh my goodness, you're sounding more and more like him," I said, adding, "Augustus Waters, I mean."

"I think that is one of the greatest things anyone has said to me yet." Chase grinned then sobered. "Poppy Sullivan, I've just seen you at your worst and you know what? You're beautiful." Chase looked serious as if what he was stating was fact set in stone. "I'll see you soon." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against my cheek before walking away. I watched him go.

*****

A/N Early update! :) Might not be able to post for the next few days though (studies and all) so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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