Trust

✍ Desperate

A/N This chapter is dedicated to the ever fabulous @yourlipglossedsmile for her fantastic comments on the last chapter :) 

I've also posted the extended trailer for The Fault In Our Stars next to this chapter. I might or might not have gotten a little teary just watching the trailer. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be bawling my eyes out during the movie.

Anyway, enough about that stuff. Let the story continue! :3

*****

I swallowed.

Chase looked at me with wide grey eyes.

"Right," I said, even though all I could think was stupid stupid stupid. "I should get going."

"It's not like that." Chase moved closer, but I stepped back.

"No, it's fine." My voice was a little shaky. "I need to get going anyway. I'm on cooking duty tonight at our house. Adam gets cranky when he has to eat late and my dad might be coming over to our house as well and it's getting late and I really need to go." I was rambling. I stared at the peeling paint on the wall.

"Poppy-".

"Goodnight, Chase." I needed to get out of there. I speed-walked down the porch steps and onto the sidewalk.

"Poppy, wait." He sounded almost desperate.

I walked faster. My cheeks were burning.

"Poppy!"

I could hear his footsteps. Panic rose up in me like magma in a volcano. It bubbled over, its heat searing the very core of my being.

I ran as fast as I could; I had to. I had jumped off a cliff and into a stormy sea. The waves now crashed and washed over me, dragging me under.

I was drowning and there was no one to save me.

*****

There was a tap on my room door.

"Come in."

Adam opened it and walked in. I stared at him expectantly.

"I broke up with Becky," he said. He kicked the edge of my bed. He was frowning. "You were right. She's not good for me."

I hated saying I told you so I ended up replying, "Good for you."

Adam tossed his blonde hair. He needed a haircut. He was starting to have the same hairstyle as Bieber in Bieber's pre-puberty years.

"You okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, why?"

"You seem a little off tonight." Adam hovered near my desk.

"Mum's sick. I don't really know how else to react," I said. There was a silence. My words hung in the air along with the ones remained unsaid. I wasn't going to talk about Chase. It hurt too much to even think about him.

"She'll be fine." Adam smiled confidently. "Anyway, I have to get back downstairs. Arrow's going to be on in a couple of minutes." He left the room quickly.

I made sure he was downstairs before looking around for something to hit without causing too much damage. Eventually, I took the edge of my pillow and began smashing it against my bed.

I needed to get my emotions out before they burned me alive.

When all my energy had been used up, I collapsed on the floor. Staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, I let the tears fall.

I was getting kinda sick of crying.

*****

I wanted to avoid Chase the next day, but it seemed that pain's desire to be felt was more powerful than mine was. Instead of March meeting me at our usual place, it was a tall boy with piercing grey eyes who waited. He was slouched against a wall, eyes fixed on me as I approached. I swallowed and kept my head up.