Trust

Author's Note

Hey everyone,

As you already probably know, this story was very much inspired by The Fault in our Stars. What you might not have known was that I'd written it a year after my aunt had passed away from leukaemia. I'd been struggling to find a way to channel my emotions and I'd chosen to create an imaginary world filled with stark realities in which I could lose myself in.

But I turned nineteen recently and the last few days have been arguably even harder to endure than the events that had inspired this story.

A close friend of mine who I'd gradually lost contact with over the past year since I'd moved away from my hometown passed away last weekend.

He was diagnosed with sarcoma just after I'd left town, but when we'd talked or messaged, he hadn't mentioned that he'd been sick. Knowing him, it was probably because he didn't want me to worry or whatever.

He was just eighteen.

Eighteen.

And the thought of all the 'nevers' has been tearing me up inside.

He would never get to turn nineteen as I had, never get to go to university as I am now, never be the brilliant doctor he wanted to be.

Thinking about it makes me want to punch something.

Because it hurts.

It fucking hurts.

He'd had everything going for him - he was good-looking, smart as a whip and charming as hell. Oh and last I'd seen him, he'd had abs that would've put Captain America to shame.

And now he's gone and everything hurts.

He leaves behind two grieving parents and a younger brother who idolises him.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really wanted to take down 'Trust' from this website because in the hours after I heard the news, I'd felt so conflicted and in pain that I felt like I needed to destroy everything that reminded me of him, of cancer, of the days we'd spent laughing together in the sun.

I was angry and frustrated and overwhelmed with grief.

I was angry with him, with cancer, with myself.

But I'm glad that I didn't delete the story because I don't really want to do that.

There are parts in 'Trust' that I would love to change to properly reflect certain situations but I won't be taking it down to do so.

I miss him but deleting this story won't bring him back. It won't even lessen the pain.

But to everyone reading this, please hold your loved ones extra close tonight. No matter what petty argument or disagreement you might have, it doesn't matter when you look at the bigger picture.

Love,

Percy