Speak Now

Chapter 1 : I am a wraith.

In my nightmare, the nestle of trees around me rustle as the wind shifts through them. They seem to be exchanging secrets, and I tremble with both fear and cold.

The night sky is devoid of stars and the moon is coveted in grey clouds. And it is in the middle of a road that I stand. I do not remember how I got there but the place is familiar.

A few hundred feet ahead lies an overturned car, it's headlights blinking on and off, turning the pool of blood uncannily shiny.

Suddenly panic grips my chest as I feel soft footsteps crunching on leaves and broken twigs. I am so afraid I don't dare to turn around. But something compels me to.

Slowly, breathing heavily I face the intruder. Somehow the moon has come out again and I can make out the plastic mask and the gloved hands. These are the objects of my nightmare.

I am about to scream. I know that he is the murderer. He is the predator that preys on my dreams every night. I loathe him.

But then he brings a gloved finger to his lips, or where his lips should be under the mask and I choke. Suddenly all the air inside my lungs turns stale and I begin to shake and choke.

I am so desperate to expel the dust in my lungs that I don't notice the man move until his hands touch my arm and a hoarse cry escapes my lips.
But no one can hear me.
I am going to die.

He squeezes my neck. My eyes widen. I am about to scream.

I wake up gasping and shaking, my heart in my throat, my eyes trained on a calender hanging limply from the hook on the wall. My bedclothes cling to me with sweat, and I am clutching the sheets vigorously.

"Maddie!"

I shake myself out of my stupor at mom's voice and unstrangle myself from the sheets.

"Maddie, wake up! You'll be late for school!"

I close my eyes and imagine the words away. First day of school. Clustered hallways. Loud laughter. Bullying. Slamming lockers. Giggling girls. Egotistical boys. Grinding teachers.

I hear someone's lawnmower start up outside and I will myself to the washroom. I brush my teeth and avoid looking in the mirror. I know what I'll see. Curly black hair, a rats nest growing on my head. My grey eyes, leeched of all humour and life.

The nightmare has robbed me of a normal life. Sometimes I wish I could forget the car, the blood pooling around it and the man in the mask with his leather gloves. The knife clutched in his hand. The moonlight setting his salt and pepper hair into a luminous glow.

"Not today" I think,"I will not torture myself today when school will do it already"

♤♤♤♤

When I slide down the bannister, and my mom chides me for being so childish as to never take the stairs, I assume I'll have the same first day of school as for the past five years.

I imagine blending into the beige colour of the walls, of disappearing before anyone noticed I even exist, of wishing myself into non-existence, of scribbling small pieces of poetry on the classroom walls, of being the only person to feed Janis the hamster, our class pet.

I do not predict the following unfortunate event:

I am happily riding my bike, the sunlight warming my face, listening to cars honking and children laughing and adults talking into phones and birds chirping and wheels rolling and a beautiful day unfurling.

"This is normal" I allow myself to be relieved,"Normalcy is excellent"
My therapist has been saying that to me for years.

And then I am careless. A car from the left land almost runs into me, honking loudly, and I panic. I swerve to the right, and my bike smashes against the guardrail and I am thrown over it onto the ground ahead.

I scrabble down the steep incline and hurl against a large boulder, knocking my knees against it. My elbows land on mud, and I barely manage to save my face.

Owch.

I wince and sit up, checking for damage. Thankfully I'm alright except for a wicked scar on my arm.

Lightning shaped scar.

I grin like an idiot and fervently admire it, tilting it slightly to examine it better.

I halt when I hear footsteps.

Crunch. Crunch

"Shit"

Thud.

Someone just fell. I silently curse as panic arises. It's a person. Probably the one who almost ran me over.
I wish he had gone. Now I would have to talk to him.

Immediately nausea overcomes me and I scramble to my feet. Maybe I can run and he wouldn't be able to catch me.

I don't look at him. Instead I run up the incline towards the guardrail.

"Hey"

I freeze.

"Are you okay? Almost ran you over. But you should've seen where you were going. Are you hurt?"

I squeeze my eyes shut. No. No.
Anxiety creeps like venom in my veins and I struggle against it.

When I turn around, a boy is staring at me. A beautiful boy. I notice wild brown hair, messed up at just the right places to be attractive. Blue-green eyes stare at me, crinkled at the edges.

My eyes widen as I see my school's emblem on the boy's jacket.

Varsity player.

I gulp and leap over the fence. I pray that he forgets me. I worry over the drama he will very likely create in school, how he valiantly helped the strange girl who occupies everyone's periphery. The girl who no one knows exists.

I reach my bike when he yells "Hey. You aren't hurt are you?"

I watch him for a second as he easily leaps over the guardrail.
"Are you going to Williamsberry? I can drive you"

I gulp air frantically and push against the pedals, striving to leave before he can embed my image permanently in his head, before he can recognise me at school and spread rumours.

I hear a car door slam and I breathe in relief. I think I should take an alternative way to school or he'll follow me, and so I turn right at the next junction and smile in victory.

I am safe. I am safe.

He won't remember. He can't. I am too much of a wraith to be remembered.

And so I sigh in utter relief when I reach school and see his empty car in the parking lot.

Safe.