Destiny, Time, Schroedinger's Cat and Butterfly are on the loose! As the Four Metaphors of the Apocalypse, they are ready to take revenge on their captor, Universe himself.
***
Respectable stories are born in a writer's cunning mind. Their less...
Distrust, as pan-galactic history clearly proves, is one of the 652 or so main reasons to result in outright war. So it was almost inevitable when the situation on the planet called Zirrk—overcrowded now by its vastly evolving nematode population—led to a bitter and altogether useless war between so-called pure-blooded (or Smoothies) and pimpled nematodes (called Pimps).
This war later got known as Mighty Bob's First Contraption War. It fuelled not only the development of new, modified and far more lethal contraptions but also an increase in pimple mutation. Soon, there were not only two but 35 different species, the number rising steadily. This rendered warfare more complicated, especially since it turned out that one particular four-legged and eight-armed subspecies of the pimpled variety of nematodes excelled in operating Bob's newest invention, called tanks. They had the sole problem that they were actually on the wrong side and had no access to tanks. Luckily this problem was quickly solved by some professional side-switching. This incredibly successful subspecies soon became known as Octopodes* and decided to strive for ultimate world dominance.
—— * Like so many things on Zirrk, the name was the result of a complex evolutionary process overlaid by pragmatic compromise. It started as Octobracial Quadrupedal Nematode and was conveniently shortened—after some fierce battle—to Octopode.
~~~~
The Octopodes lived in the mountains of Steep. Their power was only rivalled by one other strong race, the Antipodes—called like this for living on Boring, a flat wasteland located on the other side of Zirrk. The Antipodes were descendants of the first Corkscrewers, which gave them a somewhat circuitous nature and made meaningful conversation with the straightforward Octopodes difficult.
From there, things quickly went from bad to worse because of two new developments. The first one was an invention. Its insidious creator called it a 'suit'. It consisted of a full body garment made of finest, expensive, dark wool, and a coloured ribbon of silk.* Anyone donning such a suit exhibited a sudden loss of empathy combined with an increase of ruthlessness, ambition and self-importance. The suited nematodes were called politicians. The worst of them could easily be identified by their bright orange toupees.
The second one was a mutation that was found in most of the races of nematodes. Some individuals of each generation evolved curly, white hair and a tendency to loll their tongue. Less visible was a subtle twist in the brains of these individuals that made them think about things the gods preferred to be left alone. These mutants were named 'physicists'.
Physicists lived on something called grants. And grants were handed out by politicians. So the physicists did their funders' bidding, and they built them WoMD. One of them was hidden in the caverns of Steep, while others lurked in silos deep below the planes of Boring.
So, one fine day, the leaders of the Octopodes and the Antipodes both sat in their black-and-white-and-glass offices, with the only splotches of colour in sight being some orange tufts of hair, a red telephone, and a single, red, fat button.** The telephones were connected to each other, and the buttons to their respective WoMD.
And Doom waited for herself to happen.***
Doom waited and waited. And waited.
—— * The suits were the final nail in the coffin for the Smoothies' aspirations, btw. Because anything clothed in a simple black tube and adorned with a colourful ribbon along its central circumference just looks ridiculous.
** A nice example of convergent evolution
*** In contrast to popular belief, Doom is a divine being. And a female one at that.
~~~~
Obviously, the politicians had found something new to interest them. It was an obscure invention from two different groups of ex-Nematodes. They called themselves hard- and software engineers and developed, in short row, television, computers, mobile telephones, internet, wifi, and finally social media. The politicians delved into this new world of sparkling toys with glowing enthusiasm and all but forgot about the physicists and the red button.
When Doom realised she was left alone to wait for what felt even to her like an eternity, she decided to invite her good friend Destiny over for tea and a goddessy chat. Destiny, as is widely known, is a goddess as well, and a fickle one. She quickly realised she had to lend her old friend a hand out of this predicament. With a pleasant smile and a snip of her fingers, she chose one innocent suit-wearing octopode called Timothy. He was on his way to a boring day job in the city bank of Steepletown, whistling an unconcerned and rather dissonant little tune.
When Timothy entered the bank's glass-facaded building, he immediately felt that something was awry. The usual background noise of his colleagues chatting and the fast staccato of high-heeled quadrupeds had been replaced by a tense hush.
Most people in the marble-lined hall were staring at the large display on the wall opposite to the entrance. That display showed the SPI, the Steep Performance Index. It had lost 180 points overnight. Timothy shrugged.* Probably another internet bubble gone plop. His passion for the world of finances was limited—he had chosen a banking career only because his parents had expected it.
He scanned the room for the one thing that piqued his interest in the whole building: Cathie. Positioned as usual at the reception desk, she was the only person in the room wearing a smile, oblivious of—or indifferent to—the air of subdued, suited panic around her.
He planned his path to the elevator, a trajectory that would bring him close to her desk. With a rasping sound, the mechanical display on the wall adjusted to a drop of the SPI by yet another ten points.
For a final time, he rehearsed the witty greeting he planned to give her. Then he set off, praying that she would finally notice him this time.
—— * A motion quite complex for a being having four pairs of shoulders.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
