A Cold Winter: A College Life Story (Complete)

Chapter 11: North

Sunday, December 25th

It's Christmas, but it doesn't really feel like it. No one here is in the Christmas spirit. We're all at Owen's house in downtown Charleston after celebrating with our blood families. I'm not sure about the others, but Uncle didn't buy our "happy" front for a second. He called us out on it as soon as we came down the stairs this morning, or in my case, came in from the trailer. He noticed how Luke was moping around the house since we got home, and how I seemed grumpier than usual. His words, not mine. Anyway, he sat us down and told us that whatever it was that was eating at us would sort itself out in time. I can only hope he's right. It feels wrong not having Sang Baby here with us.

After we opened up all our presents from each other, we stared miserably at the pile of gifts still under the tree, all for Sang Baby. Gabe even left the room after we were done, but we all heard the destruction he wreaked in his art room at the back of the house.

I worry about Luke, he hasn't had a candy bar since we found Sang's letter, and only eats when I force him to. I worry for us all, we're each showing signs of deterioration since losing Sang Baby. Gabe and Victor won't talk to each other, Si will only speak Greek, and I'm pretty sure Kota has counted passed a billion. Doc works himself into the ground, Owen locks himself in his office all day, and Gabe rips up every painting or drawing he starts. Me? I work on my cars and drink myself into oblivion. I never thought I'd turn into my old man, but that's exactly what her leaving has reduced me to. The only reason I'm not drinking like a fish today is because Uncle made me promise to lay off it for the day. 'What's one day not stumbling around like a drunken idiot gonna hurt' he asked, so I haven't touched a drink since midnight.

The only light spot of the day was when Phil came over to drop off some presents he said were from Sang. He still won't tell us where she is, only that she's safe and healthy, but I won't believe it until I see her for myself. There was a letter from Kayli that came with the presents, saying that Sang missed us but wouldn't change her mind about why she left. She also told us that we should get our heads out of our asses and fix whatever the hell it was that we did wrong. Her words not mine. If she's saying that, then I guess Sang hasn't told her why she left. Which means that maybe she really didn't want to leave.

All I know is that we're a mess without her, and we need to get her back. I need to get her back. I'll do whatever it takes to hold her in my arms again, even if it means knocking some sense into the rest of my brothers. So no, I'm not in the Christmas spirit. I'm in the get Sang back spirit. So get ready Sang Baby, because once we find you again, there's no way we're letting you go. This new year can take a flying leap if we can't get you back.