indelible (tris + four twoshot)

always in my heart, beatrice prior

Always in my heart, Beatrice Prior

Dear Tris,

I don't even know why I'm doing this. I know you're never going to receive it and read it. I just needed to let my emotions out and this is the only thing I thought to do. I considered talking to Christina about it but I stopped myself. I wanted to do this on my own. So I got a couple of papers and decided to just write out what I feel.

It's been almost a year since I got your last gift to me. This means time has quite passed since you left. That's what I keep telling myself ever since I "saw" you after I got your last gift. I keep telling myself you just left and you'll come back. You will come back to me. I always kept in my mind that we'll see each other again and you'll return.

I know you're going to ask how things are going here. Things are fine. I am fine. Well, I'm fine as I can without you here. Caleb's doing fine too. Your brother is well.....being your brother. Christina's good too. As good as she can without her best friend and Will. Christina understands what I feel. She became my best friend now. We make each other strong. Though she still can be a Candor smart mouth sometimes, I deal with it don't worry.

Everything's okay here. There's been no war. Sure there's still a few misunderstandings and fights but they became settled. It's still not completely peaceful but.......we manage and to be honest, we are all doing okay. The only thing though is that our group of friends became sadder. There are only four of us who remain here: Zeke, Shauna, Christina and I. We used to be a handful. Until you guys disappeared. Speaking of you guys, how are other friends doing there? Are they with you? I hope they are and I hope you are happy with them.

Well how are things in there? I know you will never get this but I still want to ask. Are you with your parents? Are you doing fine as well? I hope you're happy there, I know you are. You're with your parents. I know how much you missed them and want to be with them.

I know you are also wondering how am I too. Well I said it already, I'm fine. Though I know I will never be completely fine because you aren't here with me .It's hard, it always will be with me. But I just follow Christina's advice. I just relive our happy moments. I remember the happy times we've spent together. The pain and grief doesn't completely go away but it lessens a bit.

And the pain lessens when I know you are in a better place. You may not be here by my side but it's okay. I remember the time I told you your parents are in a better place but they aren't with you and it isn't okay. Now it's you who's in a better place but you aren't here with me. But it's okay, I promise. As long as you're happy and you're okay is alright for me. I may not be happy but I'll be okay.

And you said it right? We'll see each other again. I'm holding on to that fact. It's what keeps me going. When I wake up every day, I tell myself we'll be together again, someday. I don't care if it's a long time. We'll see each other again. Period.

Just thinking about the day when it'll happen make me excited already. I hope for many things when the day I'll see you again comes. I hope I haven't been replaced yet. I hope I'm still the one for you. I hope I still hold a special place in your heart like you don't. I hope I'm still the one in your heart. I hope you haven't moved on yet.

While I put my hopes aside and wait, I just remember the time we've spent together and I remember my memories of you. I remember the time you drank some peace serum. You were so amusing back then. And you said I'm not very nice. The reason why I cannot be Amity. But you also admitted you're not very nice too. That's one of the things we have in common, the reason why we are a perfect match.

I hope you're doing the same too Tris. Wherever you are, I hope you also reminisce the times we've spent together. I hope you also cherish our memories as much as I do. Because I cherish our memories a lot. I hope you miss me as much as I miss you, which is a lot. I hope you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you.

Wow I sure do have a lot of hopes. But sometimes my hopes are all I got.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing right now, I hope you don't forget me. I know you won't because that's what you do. I hope you think of me too. I hope I still have a special place in your heart. Because you will always have a special place in my heart. You will always be special to me Beatrice Prior. You will always be in my heart. I promise. I know promises can be broken easily but I swear I will never ever break this promise. No matter what, believe in me when I say that.

You are always in my heart Beatrice Prior. Remember that.

You may not see or even read this letter I wrote but I don't care. I wanted to do this. I needed to do this. I want to write what I feel. I want to write to you. I feel happy and proud of what I did.

I will repeat what I said. You are always in my heart Beatrice Prior. Forever and always. I don't give a damn if I sound cliché and probably not manly. I'll even shout it to the world. I am proud of what I feel for you.

I'll say it again, for the last time.

Always in my heart Beatrice Prior.

Sincerely yours,

Your cruel instructor (at least that's what you thought of me)/The first one I gave a piece of my identity and a piece of myself/The one who likes you because you're not very nice either/One who is willing to be always with you/And most of all, one who loves you so much,

Four/Tobias Eaton/Johnson.

~END~

explanation: I reread Allegiant again. I cried a lot when I reread Four's POV when he learns Tris is gone. And I watched Legend of Korra and I saw Mako and Korra breakup, which did not help at all. And I keep seeing FourTris edits on my Tumblr dashboard. I felt like crying again so I decided to write this. I don't know I suddenly wanted to write a part two. So I did. I miss FourTris so much. I miss Divergent so much. I miss the action, the scenes, heck I even miss Peter and his crappy attitude, I miss Tris. I'm rereading Divergent again actually. It's summer here and I wanted to read my summer out :D

I hope I did a great job.

P.S. I swear on the River Styx this time it REALLY IS FINISHED :)

BAIIII

-ysabelle