I sit at the bar with my head in my hands, I wait for my drink to arrive. I can feel the alcohol I had already drank starting to muddy my mind. I want to forget the night had ever happened, what I had expected to go smoothly had been like an earthquake.
I lift my head just in time to see my next round of drinks be placed in front of me. I smile at the bar man and drink back the alcohol, I don't notice the burn. I can still hear his words playing over in my head.
"You stupid girl, this is just fun. I don't want a relationship with you"
It had felt like a knife had been thrust in my chest, there was a gaping hole where my heart had been. I didn't love joe, I didn't know him well enough to love him but I cared for him. I thought I was more to him that sex, I realise now he was just using me to relive his youth.
I'm sick of letting men bring me down, I refuse to cry over a man. I'm a strong independent woman, I should not be upset because a casual fling isn't evolving into more. Joe never led me on, he made it clear that it would only be fun. I think I let myself get too close over the last few days. I need to step back if I want what we have to continue.
I know I said I didn't want a relationship but after doing all the couple stuff with joe I'm not sure that I want to be single. My heads a mess, I can't decide what it is that I want. I have to talk to him, I can't let it end like this.
"Can you call me a cab" I slur as I hand the bar maid my money.
I may be stupid and drunk but I'm not stupid enough to drive myself.
I sit in the cab and prepare to give directions.
"Where to"
I realise that I don't even know his address, I've never been to his house. How have I never noticed that before. I have to give him my address as I don't even know what area of California joe lives in.
I pay my fare and walk towards my house, I stumble on my heels and fall on the grass. It's the straw that breaks the camels back, i don't stand I just lay back on the grass and let the tears fall. The rain doesn't bother me, my face is already wet from the tears. If I wasn't so wasted I would be laughing at how pathetic i was acting. This wasn't me, I don't even think it's all due to what had happened between joe and me. I think it's just everything that's happened over the last few months had got on top of me.
I haven't let myself cry, I always push my emotions down and it looks like they have come to the surface. It feels like all the bad things that have happened are all ganging up on me and driving me crazy.
I don't know when but I fall asleep on the grass, a loud voice wakes me.
"I'm telling you she isn't here, no ones seen her since she left the bar. .... she wouldn't leave without her dog"
I sat up and tried to see who was speaking but it was so dark I couldn't make them out.
"Do you mind I'm trying to sleep" I say as I rub my eyes.
"Roxy, I think I've found her. Thank you for your help officer"
"Roxy where are you" it was Zach voice that's why he abounded so familiar.
I try to speak my my teeth are chattering so loud that it drowns out my words. I try to stand up but my knees give out and I fall back to the wet grass.
Zach somehow manages to find me, he gasps as he sees me. He pulls me up in his arms and holds me against his chest.
"Are you hurt" he looks over my body and I shake my head. Physically I'm fine apart from the fact I'm cold.
He picks my bag up and fishes out my keys, he carries me up the stairs and places me on my bed.
He brings my comforter over my body and tells me he will feed the animals and will be back. I thank him, I hadn't thought about Debbie and Elizabeth and the fact they hadn't eaten since the morning.
Five minutes pass before he's by my side. He pulls the wet jacket from my arms and drops it off the floor.
"We need go undress you and you need a warm bath, I swear I won't look"
I nod seen as though I can't do it myself I'm grateful that he is willing to help me. He helps me sit up and looks in my eyes as he removes my dress without looking down once. I manage to un fasten my bra and stand with his help. I push down my panties and step out of them.
"Is that everything" he asks while maintaining eye contact.
"Yes" I whisper.
He pulls my comforter around me so he can look down without seeing my naked body. "I've run you a bath, I'll help you get in then I will sit by the door to make sure your ok"
I nod "are Elizabeth and Debbie ok"
"If that's the cat and dog yeah, they ate and did their business outside so there sorted." He puts my mind at ease.
The oval bath is is full of hot water and bubbles, he checks the temperature and lowers me in it.
"I'm sorry" I'm still shaking even though the water is so warm.
"It's ok, I'm glad I'm able to help you. Will you tell me what's going on"
I'm unsure how much I can actually say, I decide to keep it as simple as possible. He doesn't need to know everything, I'm already embarrassed that he had gad to look after me like this.
"I was drunk and fell asleep outside where I fell"He doesn't look convinced that I'm telling him the truth, the bubbles cover my body so he sits beside the tub to talk. "Why were you drinking, I know something's going on"
I splash the hot water on my arms and decide to tell him a little more info "I was seeing someone and he told me we weren't dating it was just we'd sex that I was stupid for thinking it was more"
Zachs hands balled up into fits, "bastard, who is it I'll kill him"
"Calm down soldier, it's not just that. I'm not that sad that I would lose it over a man, it jut threw me over the edge. Things have been so bad lately what with Helen harassing me, it just got too much" if sounds stupid now I'm saying it out loud.
"I get it, come on let's get you out of here and in some pjs. I may even make you a cup of hot cocoa" Zach holds out a towel and I stand into it, pulling the fluffy material to my body.
I have some of my energy back so I'm able to walk to my room, Zach leaves me to change and returns with a hot drink for the both of us. I notice he's changed out of his wet clothes and is wearing his gym clothes.
"I'm going to sleep on the floor to make sure your ok"
I pull my blanket back, "if you can keep your eyes to yourself when I'm naked I'm sure you can keep your hands to yourself when I'm dressed"
He smirked and moved to the side of the bed "only if you promise that when your ready to date again that you let me take you out"
He lays in bed next to me and pulls me to him, he feels warm and safe.
"Deal"
YOU ARE READING
Me and him (dating my dads best friend)
RomanceI move my hair to the side and take a deep sigh, why do things have to be so complicated. Why could I not just find someone who isn't off limits. Men show their interest in me all the time and some of them are even good looking, hot even. Why can't...