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chapter seven

past, present, future

mike and i are out on the town. we always have a great time when we go out with friends. this time...was totally different.

we all had gone to a new bar in town. it didnt seem to fancy but...it had just what we needed.

"bartender. a beer for me and a martini for the lady" michael says with a smirk on his face

"make that two beers sir" i fix mikes mistake. he looks at me with a shocked expression on his face "that's my girl!!!" he ends up saying loudly for the whole bar to hear after a few seconds of silence.

once we all get what we ordered we go and sit down in a booth. we begin drinking and talking loudly. after maybe four beers i am almost totally drunk. not buzzed. D R U N K. mike doesnt go down that easy though. he's a...what he calls "man!"

 i look at mike and smiles then begin to flirt with him "whoooos this..hadsom mun?" i say playing with his shirt colar. mike looks at me and smirks "i'm yours baby" he says smiling. he then picks me up out of the booth "lets dance!" he says and then screams "woooowhooo" then drags me out onto the dance floor.

we begin dancing and singing and laughing. it was a great night.....but that wasnt the end, because endings...they always suck.

we are getting a ride home fater a long night of dancing and having a good time. on the way i see a liquir store...THE liquir store "stooooop!!" i yell to the ubar driver "thata way!" i say pointing to the store.

he pulls into the parking lot and parks "we shall be right back my good man!" i say to him in a drunk girl way "dont go anywhere" i whisper towards his way. i then crawl out of the car and mike trails behind me.

when we get inside i walk straight to the back. the back normally is where they hide the good stuff. after buying a few bottles of hard liquir, we head back to the ubar car and get in. once we get home i pay the babysitter and send her on her way. isaiah is laying on the floor in the living room.

i smile towards his way as i trip over my own two feet, trying to take my shoes off. mike once again trailing behind me doing the same.

i head to the liquir cabinet and put away our goodies. mike goes to isaiah and picks him up. i smile as i walk back into the living room, the sight of my boys is once i will never forget. even when im so drunk i could pass out but continue to drink more.

i hold a bottle of rum in my hand and swish it towards michael. he smiles at me then looks down towards isaiah, pulling his little hand up to his lips and kissing it. i smile and take a swig of the rum. once i down like...a quarter of the bottle i take it away from my lips. the world is spinning.

 i drop to the floor with the bottle in my hand. once that bottle taps the floor it gets a small crack in it. i get hard flashbacks of what happened tonight. i remember mike. dancing with some....blonde...and that blonde was not me. i slowly stand up staring in front of me. i then looks at michael with anger. so much anger....TOO much anger.

i walk towards him with the cracked bottle in my hand. once i reach him i swing the bottle in his directing. i hear a scream from michael and the sound of glass hitting the floor. i then hear isaiah start to cry...no...scream! "carrie what the hell??" michael screams at me. he takes the bottle out of my hand and throws  it away from me. it lands on the couch.

i look at isaiah who is screaming. i see blood on the back of his head "oh my gosh" i say covering my mouth. mike holds him up and looks at the cut that i created. he has a sign of relief in his voice as he says "he's fine. just a scratch" he then takes him to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. i walk to the bathroom and try to open the door. then everything turns black.

i stare at the liquir store as the flashback ends. my sweet baby boy...i did that to him..i hurt him..out of drunk anger...because of something so stupid...if i would have just not yelled stop...if that ubar driver just wouldnt have stopped...if i just wouldnt have remembered...none of this would have happened.

i place my head on the steering wheel and my hands on my lap, palm up. the open slit on my arm begins to bleed again. i turn my car off and walk into the liquir store. blood almost dripping off of my arm as i grab a bottle of rum.

the cashier looks so..hurt when he sees the blood "are you okay?" he asks as he hands me my change "NOPE!" i say with joy, a fake smile appears on my face. the smile drops as i head out the door. i walk to the car. throwing the bottle to the passenger seat. i then drive home with the bottle swishing and swaying.