I Hate You [Phan]

iii. hate

Phil didn't hate Dan. In fact, he still, ever so slightly, had a love for him. Phil didn't know if Dan felt the same way, but he for sure knew that Dan would not hold back with harsh words when the public eye was away.

Dan's insults toward Phil made their way into the camera's view, mainly through the gaming channel videos and joint live shows. While recording, the insults were spoken in loving, teasing tones, as if Dan were just a friend joking with another friend about something they had done. That's what friends did, right?

No one thought it was unusual, and it was classified as harmless teasing. Phil saw the insults as something much more. The insults continued off camera, harsher words being spat at him when in the private sanctity of their home. Phil knew that somewhere deep in him, he still loved Dan. It made it harder to admit that when the person you love is the person you most fear.

Dan's hurtful words shook Phil to the core. Phil cried himself to sleep too many times to count over Dan's verbal abuse.

Living flop.

Shut up, rat.

You freak.

You're horrendous.

Absolute twat.

Phil never truly had any hatred toward Dan until the insults started. Dan treated Phil like he was stupid, as if he were a newborn child who knew nothing. Sometimes those insults hit Phil hard and he would yell something back. That's why Dan assumed it was mutual.