Meeting people on this site wasn't all that it was advertised to be. The ones I've met were... let's just say, I was happier covering myself in a blanket of work. One even called me a few times, but she finally stopped after I "went on a business trip." They were nice girls and all, but I wasn't into the partying, drinking, smoking illegal substances, and into all the facial piercings. I don't mind some piercings, but when they covered almost the whole beautiful face of a woman, I was too distracted to actually see her.
Maybe I was too old fashioned like my dad. To this day, there wasn't a day he didn't open a door for my mom or paid her a complement out of the blue. A couple times when I've been over for dinner, I caught him wrapping his arm around her and dancing in the kitchen to a song on the radio just to make her heart race a little again.
Logging onto the site, I closed my eyes while the page loaded. I hadn't gone as far as to post photos of myself, but I did put in the truth. I worked all the time and wasn't seeking anyone at the moment. And I wasn't. Seeing what was out there, maybe I was just better alone. That way, no harm could ever come to anyone else.
Deleting the hundreds of notifications, I swallowed hard. This was a favor to every woman in America. This was for their protection. It was for the best. Hovering the arrow over the account terminate button, I looked over at my table in the corner of my bedroom filled with stuff I still had to go through and it was already ten at night. No matter how much work I did each night, the paperwork kept growing.
Instead of deleting my account, I checked on my new list of "perfect matches" just to fill curiosity. There were a few, but checking out a few of their profiles, nothing stood out. The last one, my eyes stopped instantly. Stinky Farmgirl With No Life. Who would have that as their name? Who would admit to being stinky?
Curiosity won the best of me and I clicked on the profile and a small photo came up. The only photo was of a dark haired girl in jeans holding some kind of animal. Her back was to the camera and I couldn't really see her face, but in the background was a farm looking kind of place.
Scrolling down, the laugh rumbled up through me as I read the first line. "This is not a lie. I stink every day, seven days a week. I work from five in the morning to six at night, seven days a week. My time is limited and I do not enjoy long walks on the beach, reading, biking, hiking, talking, or even being around people. My life is boring and I do not go out so don't even bother asking. I love my life and will not change it or bend it in any shape or form so don't even ask. I will not do long distance, short distance, or even next door dating. My hobbies include shoveling manure, playing with disgusting animals, and driving the tractor in the hot summer days. There is no room for two on my tractor as it only has one seat large enough to fit my ass in it."
Shaking my head, I unplugged my laptop and carried it over to my bed. Resting against the oak headboard, I sat the computer on my lap and read the rest of the profile. The online icon lit up as I scrolled through the rest of the page. Going back up to the top, I clicked on the message detail and typed.
WORKAHOLIC: 'Are you for real? I am pretty sure you don't stink as you are a woman and women don't stink.'
Tapping my fingers on my leg, I waited wondering if she would even answer. After ten minutes of waiting, just as I almost closed my computer, the message appeared at the bottom of my screen. My heart slammed hard as something awoke deep inside of me.
STINKY FARMGIRL: 'I'm not going to lie because I have no need to pretend to be something other than myself. I do stink and it's every day. I work for a living and nothing will ever change that. I am a farmer and that is all I know how to do. I am not educated or sophisticated or even read a book. Okay, that's a lie as I did read a few books, but it isn't often that I do and it's only stuff that never happens, you know, complete fiction. I don't do my nails because half the time they are icky anyway. I don't spend time on my hair because I just really don't care to. I wash it and put it in a ponytail and that is about it. In the morning, that is all I have time to do seeing as I have cows that have to be milked and they can't wait on me to primp and press myself just to be in the barn. I don't even think I own a pair of shoes that aren't boots and all but two pairs are caked with manure. If you are asking if I stink, yes I do.'
YOU ARE READING
Undisclosed Secrets
General FictionXavier Lucas is nothing more than someone who would like to put the past behind him, but that's a little hard to do with a past that could ruin lives. Still, his new so-called-friends insist that he is to get back out into the world and begin anew...
