Undisclosed Secrets

Chapter 9 - Rachel

The warmth of the fire danced in the night and the heat filled around me. Zeke curled up at my side as the five others called it a night and went into their tents. Laurie offered to let me crash with her and Tagus could crash with his brother, but I knew Tagus was still mad at me as he hasn't said one word after my near drowning.

I even suggested he go with Laurie and I go with Remy, but Tagus refused after what happened. So, I went with him down the river in complete silence.

Looking over at the middle tent, I swallowed hard. I hated that silence between us and I wish it wasn't like this. Before the whole anger that exploded from him, I was enjoying the trip for once. I was enjoying the time with him even if it was just a little awkward. At least it was more than wanting to crawl under a rock and just hide there until I was too old to do anything else.

Digging my fingers into the thick black and white fur patch, I looked up at the diamonds in the sky wondering what Xavier was doing. Probably working as he always was. He could be filling me full of manure just as Tagus said.

Xavier could be out on the town hooking up with plenty of women like Travis has over the years and I would never know the difference. It wasn't like he was from around here so I really didn't know who he was and I couldn't ask around if anyone knew him. He lived in Texas as he mentioned a few times, plus in the city which gave him plenty of nightclubs and bars to hang out at. 

Why did Tagus have to ruin this thought, this feeling I had about this one man? I never had someone talk to me the way Xavier has and tell me how his parents were, good people who put great qualities in him. I've been around when Travis was picking up a woman for the night. The way he used his words and the way he schmoozed them into bed, I've seen it. That's why I guess I never wanted to tell Travis about Xavier because I would get the whole lecture of him knowing how guys were. 

Closing my eyes, I let the heat from the fire dance around me thinking of what went with that voice. Was his hair dark or light, shaggy or kept neat and trimmed like a business man? Did he bite his nails or were they cleaned and clipped? Did he pick his nose when he thought no one was looking?

Did he pick his nose? Was I for real? The giggle filtered through me bringing the heat to a climbing level deep in my belly. That one, I would just have to keep to myself, but it was a way of life. Some people did, like Kendra for instance. I caught her a couple times and it started a whole giggling fit.

"What's so funny?" Tagus's deep voice shivered through me as he walked up with a can of beer in his hand and his shorts riding low on his hips.

"I was just thinking." Sitting up, I brushed the sand off the back of my arm keeping my eyes focused on the flames dancing happily in the ring of rocks the guys found in the thick grass. 

"We need to talk." Pulling his hand away, he rested his arms on his knees as he pressed his lips together.

"I don't want anything weird between us. I hated how quiet the trip has been since I was so stupid-" 

"Let me talk for once. Please. It is really cute how you ramble on when you are nervous, but I really need to talk to you about something." Letting out a breath, he scratched the back of his thick, dark head of hair and looked over at me. "About this guy-"

"You are right. When I get home, I will end it and nothing more. It was stupid anyway." Water filled in my eyes blurring the orange flames. How did I tell Xavier that I couldn't talk to him anymore? I assured him there was nothing with Tagus as I knew he was thinking that when I told him about the trip. I heard it in his voice, but he didn't say anything about it. He just urged me to go and to have a good time.