Dysfunctional

Fear

Alex's POV

"What do you mean? What are you going to do?" asked Theo, keeping pace with me as I walked down the stairs.

"If I wasn't clear the first time, listen closely now. I'm going to confront Toby about that little stunt he pulled." I stopped walking and turned around to look at my brother. "Do you realise what he did Theo? He almost turned my baby brothers against me and even worse he scared them into thinking I'd hurt them with a weapon or something. They're eight! You don't tell them stuff like that!"

Theo sighed. "I know. I know, but do you really think bursting into the living room looking for him and confronting him about this is the best thing to do? You know Toby, aggression just fuels him. Confrontation doesn't scare him, it just makes him more prepared to fight."

'Don't listen, don't listen', I told myself. I was angry, I needed to act on this anger. "Theo, I can't let this slide. I just can't, did you see their faces in there. They were scared and they wanted to defend themselves the best way they can. Toby can't play with their feelings like that, it's not fair."

"I know!" Theo said, sounding frustrated. "I know but rushing off to confront him is not the solution. It'll just make things worse. You think he doesn't know what he did? He wants you to come running to him then he can have his revenge or something. Besides when has you acting on your anger ever solved anything."

As difficult as it was to admit, he was right. Confronting him wouldnt help anything, it would just make matters worse. I sighed. "You're right. It only makes him madder, just makes him want to retaliate then I retaliate and it just keeps going on and on, turning itself into a maddening and tiring circle of anger and revenge."

"Exactly. Just do what I do and ignore it. Why do you think I don't get into fights with him anymore? I just ignore him, he'll leave you alone after that."

I started walking again, heading towards the kitchen, Theo following closely behind me. When we walked through the living room, I saw that Toby was there just as I had guessed he would be, he looked up and we had eye contact. His eyes were daring me to speak. Trying my best to listen to Theo's advice, I broke eye contact and strode past him towards the kitchen.

It took a lot of my willpower not to barge in there and scream at him but I kept myself and focused my energy on looking for what to eat. Mom hardly had time for us in the morning. She's a single mom and it's understandable to a certain extent how she's almost always working.

I dug through the fridge looking for something to eat and my hand settled on a carton of milk which i figured I could use for some cereal. When I turned around to get a bowl, guess who was standing there.

I had made up my mind to stand up to him but it was hard. Shouting and screaming was what made me feel stronger, I felt I could handle him when I'm all up in his face but ignoring him is harder. Harder than you can imagine. Trying to ignore how self-conscious I felt when he looked at me, how sad I felt rememebering what he did this morning. Can you make problems go away just by ignoring them?

He's an animal. He smells fear. "You look like a deer caught in headlights baby sister", cue evil smirk, "What's wrong? Did something spoil your happy little morning?"

I bit my lip and dropped the carton of milk on the counter. "I don't know what I did to God in my last life but it must have been pretty damn horrible if he gave you to me as a brother." I walked out, I heard him call out "the feeling's mutual!"

I walked without seeing so I didn't realise when I was standing outside the house in the middle of the lawn. I whipped out my phone and called up a number. Ringing...ringing, pick up!

"Hello?"

"Jessica, it's Alex!"

"Alex? Alex? Oh Roadkill! What's up girl?"

"What the heck is Roadkill? Are you high?" I asked her.

"You're cute. Nah, I almost ran you over and if I had you would have been Roadkill so ta-da! New nickname!"

I couldn't help laughing. Me and her are gonna be great friends.

"Roadkill, what's up? Any problem?"

I swallowed. "Nah, I'm just...remember that favour you owe me?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Well, congratulations. You can make it up to me by meeting my other friends. Get your ass off your couch bitch and meet me at my house, remember the address?"

"Yeah I remember the address. What do you take me for a-", there was a pause, "did you just call me bitch?!"

"Yeah, congratulations I officially like you. Meet me at my house."

A couple seconds of silence and...

"Roadkill, you're something else. I'll be there in a sec."

She hung up on me. I didn't put the phone back in my pocket till I sent a message to Nick and George telling them to meet me at my house.

Nick...damn I guess I'm gonna have to confront what happened last night with him too right? My life is shit, I don't need romance!

I went back to the house and guess who came running out to meet me.

"Alex? Are you ok? Did you run off again? Don't fucking run away like that, it scares me!" Theo rambled on and on and I just looked at him till I smiled and said "Baby brother, I love you."

He stopped pacing and rambling and looked at me and smiled. "Love you too. But don't run out like that, you're shit when you let your emotions get the best of you. And don't call me baby brother."

I laughed. "Come on. Couple of friends are coming over, we gotta prep for it."

"What friends? Do I know them?" He said, following behind me as I climbed up the stairs.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. I feel like a lot of things are pulling at me at different times and are coming at me way too fast. If its not Toby, it's Nick. If its not Nick, it's Theo or the twins or whoever. Different emotions and different feelings pull at me and they're hard to master but some of them feel good and it helps when life goes wonky.

Okey dokey. I hope this chapter is great. If you like it comment, vote. Leave feedback. I leave you with one thing to think about;
'I am at my best when I am at my worst'

I still remain your author 😌.