kiwi || h.s [edited]

Chapter One

"It is true that those who meet us can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterward, even unto our names."

- Life of Pi

The salty sea waters pulled and pushed against my bare feet. There was a deficit of words that could adequately explain the sensation of the cold water washing against my bare feet. But nostalgia sure sufficed. Five years away from this place. Five years that I never went to the beach or stood near an ocean. But here, in the late afternoon hours, the bubbling waves rekindled a love that I had long forgotten about. The sun was beginning its glorious descend and it felt oddly liberating to nudge my toes into the cool golden sand. The relentless bubbling of the Atlantic waters washed a sense of ease over me. A feeling I had lost contact with in the five years of absence.

My solitude was soon interrupted by the heavy footsteps of another. I glanced over my shoulder to find a man with a generous head of curly hair walking toward the waters ahead of me. He was clad in a thick black wetsuit and a pink surfboard safely tucked in the space between his arm and chest.

Suddenly fear enveloped me. I spun around to face the waters ahead of me.

"Hey," His deep voice swelled over my body, alerting my fight-or-flight-response. I didn't even consider returning the greeting, instead, I instinctually and swiftly walked away. Once I was back onto the safety of the porch, I took a moment to catch my breath. Panic was at hand. When my breathing had softened, I caught the sight of my family through the glass door. I took a moment to gawk at my family. They were so blissfully oblivious to my presence in that moment. Everything had changed yet all together nothing had. In appearance they were unrecognisable but in person they were identical. James had aged exponentially and no longer looked like the younger brother she remembered. A brother that would burst into her room without knocking. The smile lines on mom's face had deepened but she ages like fine wine and deep smile lines just means she's had more to smile about than frown about. Dad was definitely older but he carried around a child-like joy that I wish I had inherited.

When I entered the house, James looked to me with shock. A second didn't even pass before his body relaxed. I remember that feeling. I remember it well. James was still adjusting to the idea that I was back home.

"What's the plan for tonight?" I threw out the question to whomever was willing to answer.

"Well we actually have plans with a couple in the neighbourhood which you're more than welcome to join," She smiled at me, deepening those smile lines. I shifted at her feet as I sat on the sofa. I forced a smile, she knew it was forced.

"Maybe,"

Positivity was the key to survive.

I could visibly see the ease fall upon my mother. I decided against joining my parents and their little party and instead retired to my room. My mind still fully occupied with the moment on the beach. The moment I had fallen victim to fear. Fear is such a terrible and cowardly emotion. One that I just couldn't shed.

I grasped my favourite novel that sat comfortably on the edge of my vanity. Whilst my parents prepared themselves for their evening's events, I ventured through my door that led to the porch. The fire that dad had ignited hours prior, so brilliantly glowing against the setting sun. I was so enveloped by the heat and Pi's astonishing love for religion and people and fight for survival that my father's calls were falling on occupied ears.

Pi's story brought me such comfort. We were two intersecting lines. We had a point where our lives collided. I never realized that the words inked onto blank pages would be able to speak so deeply into my soul. But I was grateful all the more for it.

When I finally was able to pull myself from the trance that the novel afforded me, I found my father's coffee eyes fixated on me and a light smile on his face.

"What are you staring at?" His intense gaze felt like a spotlight shining too brightly on me.

"I'm so happy you're back home, I've missed ya'" His hand gentle tapped my shoulder.

"Honey, we're going to be late!" My mother called out.

I stood from my comfortable position, fixed the baggy shirt that fell over my body and walked my father back into the house. My parents attempted convince for the final time to join them but I knew I wasn't ready for something like that. For all the people. For all the questions.

So, I let my parents leave and I crawled into my bed, hoping sleep would take over me before the grief did.

_

AN: Hi beautiful people!

I've decided to edit this story. I can't believe I wrote this three years ago. This was my first story ever and sometimes I cringe at the terrible writing but if I hadn't written this story than I would've have been able to write other stories, so I guess alls well that ends well.

I hope you enjoy it or have enjoyed it. I am currently working on its sequel – TO THE BONE. Which explores their relationship a bit more and has a few plot twists. I am also writing an entirely new book that's based in the 80s, which is almost completed. I'm super excited for that one.

As always, stay happy and healthy. Don't forget to vote and comment.

All the love xx