kiwi || h.s [edited]

Chapter Two

I was stood along the shoreline of the ocean. The rhythmic sound of the powerful ocean had lost its peaceful aurora that most searched for. It was suddenly chaotic and terrifying. How can something so beautiful and serene become so hideous and chaotic. The waves grasped my ankles like painful needles latching onto my flesh. I looked down and found my legs encompassed by scabs and indents. My eyes travelled to my hands and similar if not deeper.

Suddenly my footing was removed and I was ripped from the shore. Bleakly and hopelessly trying to use the sand as an anchor, I dug my fingers into the icy sand. But it was a pointless battle. The ocean swallows me whole, in one measly bite. I was sinking, further and further. Deeper and deeper until I was submerged in blue darkness. I wanted to fight, I wanted to be stronger but my body had already given up. It refused to cooperate. I had come to the realization that I was not capable of swimming and that drowning was the only fate that I was afforded.

Concealed in sweat and tears, I shot up from my bed. Throwing my sheets onto the floor, needing the relief that the cool air placed on my skin. I heard the crashing waves in the distance. It was different from the ones from my nightmare. I threw my olive legs from the bed, my feet connected with the cold wooden panels of the floor. I walked the small distance to the transparent door that allowed me access to the beach. The ocean pulled and pushed, possessing no remorse or care for its actions. That's what I appreciated about the ocean. It was ruthless and beautiful in the same breath and completely unapologetic.

Unconsciously, I had slipped from the comfort of my bedroom and before I knew it, I was standing on the shore. The cold waters at my feet reminding me that I was alive. After a second, I took a step back. Afraid that the nightmare might have some hold on my reality and that I would be swallowed yet again.

I thought of the night before, mom had woken me up to say she had convinced her friend to give me a job. Mom also made sure to mention that her friend had a gorgeous son and that I had missed out on seeing him.

_

A few hours later, with no sleep in my system, I was still sitting on the border between the water and the sand. But this time with a single intention. James's beloved surfboard sat comfortably on the sand beside my feet. I wanted to conquer the chaotic waves before me and in the same breath the fear within me. The air nipped at my wetsuit clad body, I was pleasantly surprised to find the black suit still fit, though not as tight as I would've preferred. Deciding that the board was safe enough on land with no one around, I should begin with a swim. I cautiously allowed the water to cover me. Inch by inch as the sand sunk deeper and my body became less visible in the distance. The feeling was terrifying and horrifyingly exhilarating.

With one deep breath filling my lungs, I dipped my head beneath the waves. I made the grave mistake of opening my eyes under the water. I shouldn't have done it. And in, no way should he have been so visible under the dark waves, but he was.

His eyes void of life. As his body floated in the waters as if it were hollow, pushed and pulled in every direction.

I shook my head, wishing he would just leave me alone, but he didn't. He never did. I had to get out of the waters before I lost my footing in reality. I pushed through the heavy waters until I was back on the safety of the sand. I crawled until the waves no longer reached me. I fell back and my chest moved at such a hasty pace that I thought it would never slow down. It heaved in and out and the tears pouring from my eyes burned against my cheeks.

It had been two years.

It was the sole reason for my return home. New York just felt like a living reminder of that night and I could no longer bear the pain. My family was still unaware of what had happened and I some part of me never wanted them to know. I just wanted to be a daughter and a sister. Not someone that had been ripped apart and someone that you had to surround with bubble wrap.

I knew sleep was a lost cause at this point so instead, I decided to venture to the coffee shop my mom had mentioned required new baristas. I needed to something normal and routine and that was the closest thing to normalcy.

I borrowed my mother's car and made use of the direction she had given.

KIWI

I wanted to just stand in front of the little shop and wonder about the discussions that lead to its name but I knew that would become a very time-consuming activity.

"Hi, could I possibly speak to the manager?" I asked once I reached the counter.

A woman with medium brown hair walked toward me with a gorgeous smile.

"Hello, you must be Amelia. Wow, you're just absolutely precious," She tapped my arm with a warm mug.

"You lookin' for a job?" She asked.

I gave her a shy smile, still feeling unsure about everything.

"Well, you're hired. Harry will start training with you tomorrow,"

I didn't expect it to be so simple and boy was I right to question it.