kiwi || h.s [edited]

Chapter Six

You probably think I'm insane. Which you're not wrong about but I was at the shoreline again. My fascination with such a simple article of nature is something I barely understand but I was in no position to deny it. My family had noted of my constant desire to be near the waters. I couldn't offer them an explanation because nothing would suffice. Nothing other than the truth and I just wasn't willing to give that to them yet. The sun was only starting to peak its yellow head from beneath the horizon by the time my second hour of staring at the busy waters had passed. Andrew wasn't allowing me the peace to sleep and my room was too suffocating to wallow in any longer.

He was everywhere last night.

In my dreams. In my reality. He consumed me. Like a wildfire that just couldn't be stopped. And sometimes you've just gotta allow the flames to burn until there was nothing left to turn to ashes.

"Amelia,"

I directed my attention toward the soft whisper and there he was standing in all his glory. He was alive and had this dazzling smile that I never thought I'd be able to be in the presence of every again. My hands fell over my chest as happiness found a canal in veins, waking up every cell in my body to a celebration that he had returned.

"You're back," I whispered.

"I never left," He chuckled.

And that's when the horrifying reality settled in. He wasn't there. Not really it was some grief-induced hallucination. And as desperate as I am to just see and feel him again. To hear his voice one last time. I was fully aware that if I caved, I would never be able to pull myself out of that rabbit hole. Not again.

I was warned that this might happen. I was urged to speak to someone about what happened. I was urged to deal with it. To process it. But I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to open up that would and stare at it until it didn't sting anymore.

I pressed my eyes shut.

One.

Two.

Three.

When I reopened my eyes, he was gone. And that's the way it was supposed to be. He isn't supposed to show up. Not ever again. And I had to keep reminding myself of that.

A few hours later, I was wrapping an apron around my waist. The morning was busy, but every minute seemed to drag on like an hour. I was exhausted. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. There was something different about the coffee shop today. It took me a few second to realise what was missing.

Harry.

I was not attached to him by any measure. I mean I barely knew the man, but I couldn't deny the fact that he brought a certain kind of iridescent energy to the shop and without it, it just felt somewhat lifeless. Just as I was piecing my theory together the door chimed open, I turned to great the customer but was met with the man I had just been thinking of.

He was only covered from his hips down, awarding every person in the café a view of his immaculent body. The various tattoos that laced across his body like vines was the focus of my attention. I found myself wanting to understand the stories behind each particular tattoo. And why I felt the need to make them part of who he was.

"Winters, you're staring"

My eyes immediately shot to his feet as I scrambled for some sort of excuse.

"I wasn't complaining," He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at his cheeky response. I hated giving him the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten to me.