kiwi || h.s [edited]

Chapter Twenty

Another week and filtered in and fluttered at within a blink of an eye. The longer I stayed and even in my enjoyment, I was constantly reminded of the actuality that New York was in my past. And I could appreciate it for what it was and not bitter for what I could have been. But there was nothing here for me anymore. And to be frank I missed the salty sea air and a pair of sea green eyes.

I acknowledge grieving Andrew would not be quelled overnight or even after two week. I knew it was a process but I now knew I had the strength to live with it. Because my grief was just a poorly disguised reminder of my love for him. Today was my last day in New York, I was going to fly back home in the morning and to be honest I was excited to sleep in a bed that I didn't have to wonder who else had slept in.

For one last time I walked into Coffee Cantina and for the final time I was welcomed with a hot plate of pancakes and a steaming mug of coffee. The familiarity of the cafe felt somewhat sickly and although I loved it for what it was, I knew I would be content to never see it again. I held my phone expectantly in my hand as I waited for Harry to call. When the phone remained silent, my heart sank slightly. Harry was never late to call and I had gotten comfortable knowing I'd hear his voice every morning with my breakfast and every night before I fell asleep.

"Excuse me miss, may I join you?"

"Actually, I -" As I turned my head, those aforementioned jade eyes glimmered with a cheeky shimmer.

"Harry!" I squealed before I could compose myself and found my arms wrapping around his broad shoulders and drawing him in for a much-desired hug. I think I needed it a lot more than he had expected it.

"So, may I?"

"Yes, of course!" I drew away and slipped back into my booth, slightly embarrassed at my outburst of emotion. Harry slipped into the seat opposite me and it didn't take long for Mackie to come by and meet my guest and take his order.

When Mackie had disappeared, a coy smile painted Harry's porcelain face that glowed wonderfully in the morning light. "

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Just a little weariness," He teased.

"Wow, thanks now I know I look horrible," I rolled my eyes.

"No, you look lighter," Harry corrected and I had to stuff a piece of the pancakes in my mouth to stop the audacious smile that threatened to coat my face.

"You remembered the name of the café," I mentioned and he nodded with pride at his great memory.

"Have you ever wondered why we named the café Kiwi?" He had a curiously nervous tone to his words and I nodded my admission of curiosity.

"Well originally my mom wasn't as involved as she is -"

"Really? I had always assumed it was her café."

"God no, that women can't tell good coffee from bad," He laughed at my poor conclusion.

"So, it's yours?"

"Yes and my wife's" Harry's revelation had caught at such a terrible moment and so off-guard I started lightly choking on a small piece of pancake cause I had gasped at the wrong moment.

"You're married?" I finally managed after Harry had moved over to my side of the table to firm pat my back and hand his glass of water to me.

"I was married"

"But you're like 24"

"And you were going to get married at like the same age" He retorted and it was a fair retort.

"You see, Amelia," I loved the way my name rolled off his tongue. He made sure to hit every letter with full intention. "We have a lot more in common than I think you realise" Now I watched him curiosity because I saw a sadness fill his eyes that bothered me more than I was willing to convey.

"My wife passed on, I'm a widower"

"What, oh my god, I'm so sorry," I took his large hands in mine. Feeling terrible for having wailed over my own loss that I never bothered to know his story and know what he might have lost. Not identical but similar enough to share resounding pain.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered again against his hands that were always decorated in various rings. He looked at me oddly, taken about by my sudden show of affection but quickly softened when I looked him in the eyes.

"You don't - you shouldn't have had to, I'm so sorry I was so selfish" I confessed.

"No, no, don't" He quieted my apologies with a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"You never knew, it's not something I'm upfront about, it's hard to talk about as you know" He admitted.

"How?"

"It was a normal day, she was complaining about a horrific headache and so we decided to stay home. We watched a few movies and she just stood up to go to the bathroom and next minute she had collapse to the ground" His words were rushed and messy and lacked his usual casualness.

"I later found out she had had an aneurysm" He concluded.

"And before you say anything, it was the single worst moment of my life. It was so fucking difficult. I loved that woman like no one before or yet and I will continue to love her even though she's gone and I didn't think I would feel anything again but-" His emerald eyes flickered from my brown ones down to our hands as he cleared his throat.

"I changed the name to Kiwi in memory of her,"

An insurgence of such a sudden and immense compassion and empathy for Harry, my body felt overwhelmed by the rush of such intense emotions. Without asking for my consent, my body latched onto his and held onto him with such an urgent desire it actually frightened me. I racked my mind trying to find something to say or do but I knew there was nothing. I knew no amount of sympathy or empathy could lighten such a dark scar and so I would continue to hold him.

"As much as I'm loving this hug, that wasn't why I told you that," He teased. "I want you to understand that just because the people that we love are dead doesn't meant hey leave us. It is extremely difficult but day by day you learn to breath a little easier and love a little more and live a little lighter"

I sat there in silence for god-knows how long. Silently but so grateful and suddenly so hopeful.

"Thank you,"

"Thank you for giving me hope and thank you for seeing me,"