Wondering

you were my lighthouse

I am hurt.

Because you were the only person that I thought would never ever hurt me.

But even the last spine,
of the most beautiful rose,
can sting.

You were my favorite rose,
in a field of thousands.
You were my favorite colour,
in the rainbow that created my everyday smile.

You've lied to me,
made me believe
that your spines were not as dangerous.
That they would not bring
my heart to cry,
and my eyes to bleed.

And even if it was for my own protection,
it feels like
my shelter has been built
out of the romanticized words,
that were never true.

You've laid your lies into my hands,
made me believe they are my anchor.
But in the cold, blue, violent sea,
it wouldn't stick to the sand
that you've layered there,
in the deepest parts of my soul.

I've crashed,
in between the waves on a stormy night.
And you're lies shattered me into pieces.

I am hurt,
because you were once
the lighthouse,
that has leaded me home.

I am hurt,
because I can no longer see that light.

I am lost.