I hate my life. I've always hated it. Nothing really makes me happy or just making me feel something at all. All I see is dark and all I feel is lost. Crying my eyes out every single night and throwing up everything I ate is my life. I don't like myself. Somedays I even feel suicidal. I want to kill myself but once again, I'm to weak. I wish I was strong, just like my mom. I wish I was pretty just like everyone at school. I wish I was smart and confident. All I want is to be like a normal teenage girl. All I am is nothing.
The alarm clock on my phone woke me up again. It's 6am. I don't want to head to school. I hate it there, thank god it's only one week left. This is my last week of this cruel school. I hate it here. I hope I will start on a nice college with kind people in it. I will have to leave home and move into a campus with dorms. My mom wants me to move away, far away from this place. She want me to find happiness. I'm actually scared but I don't want to show it. I don't like being the weak one all the time.
-one weak later-
''Mia, do you have your gradulation dress on? We need to leave in five miuntes.'' My mom raises her voice. I don't want to have this dress on. I hate showing my body, I hate everything about me. I put the dress on with fear. Fear that my scars will show, my mother doesn't know that I cut. Nobody does really. I only cut on my thigh because that's the only way nobody can find out what I do. Thankfully the dress covered my scars. I took my makeup bag out to cover my face and scars. This isn't going to be a fun day, I could tell.
''I'm done mom, we can leave now.'' I yell back after the five minutes I got. I'm running downstairs to look at myself for the last time on the mirror and put my shoes on.
--
I tried to put my best happy face ever. I actually think I got everyone to believe that this was one of my best days in my life. Although it was, at the same time it wasn't. I'm scared of changes. What will happen when I move out? I'm already in a very dark place right now and living in a dorm all by myself, I'll just dig deeper in the dark world of my mind. I have to make friends, I just have to. It's a new start in my life. It's not just a new chapter but a new book. This book could be positive. This experience may actually give me happiness. I'm starting to look foward to the new college. I'll get better. I hope I will.
------------------------------------------
Hi, this is the first chapter of Numb. I hope you liked it. Please Vote/Share and Comment, it would make my day better. You can find me on twitter aswell, @noimharrystyles . Thank you for taking your time to read my story, have a great day x
YOU ARE READING
Numb (Harry Styles)
FanfictionMia doesn't love herself and she has accepted the fact that she can't be loved. Harry doesn't feel anything towards anyone, he's numb. He can't love, because of that he will never get loved.
