Faded

Still Here

I wake up again and see I'm still in the hospital room. I look over, and Mom is looking out the window. I wonder what she's thinking. It's probably what asylum she thinks she should put me in and how much it's going to cost. I know I hurt her. Bad. I just don't know what to say to her.

Her phone rings. I shut my eyes so she doesn't know I'm awake. "You're just now calling me? I have texted you a billion times Richard! It's been two days!" She pauses for a second and I can hear her shut the room door. "I don't care about your business trips and your stupid trashy wife! Your daughter tried to kill herself and you don't even care!"

I can't believe I'm making them fight again.

"No Richard you listen to me! I've already called my sister and were moving in with her as soon as Willow gets out of here." Wait what? "Yes Richard we are moving, and don't you dare try anything or say you'll never get to see her because you don't even see her now and you live thirty minutes away!"

She pauses for a moment, then slams her hand down on the windowsill, "Dammit Richard this isn't about you! You chose to leave and haven't bothered to visit in over a year! Have you even tried to call her? No you haven't! Not a single time! Screw you Richard. Screw you."

She slams the phone down on the windowsill and places her hands over her eyes. Dad cheated on mom when I was 13 and I've only seen him maybe five times in the last four years. He's never been a big part of my life so it doesn't surprise me that he waited so long.

But Alabama is so far away. We've lived in Vermont my whole life, it's not like I have the best life. I have one friend, never had a boyfriend, been bullied by the same girls all through school, and I mean, I did try to kill myself.... maybe moving is a good idea.

"Oh my gosh Willow you're awake!" Mom rushed to my side and takes my hand.

"So we're moving?"

She immediately frowns. "You heard all that?"

I squeeze her hand. "This is good for us. We both can use it."

She smile and her voice goes shaky. "I think your right. As soon as they let you out, we're going. I already have the whole house packed and ready to go."

"Are we going to talk about what happened?"

She pauses and I see her trying to think of a rational response. "We will get there soon. I don't think it's the best right now."

I nod my head. This is the calmest she's been in awhile. I'm glad she's not wanting to talk about it right now. I don't want to either. I just want to get out of this hospital bed and get to my new home... well get to my aunt Yolanda's house.

This is going to be a fun trip.