Between summer days and thunderstorms

Choices

Choices are known to be difficult, everyone faces them eventually.
Some choices harder than others, some harmless, some devastating.
Not every choice seems right, but you'll only know the path you already chose, for there is no going back.
You'll have to live with whatever you do, even if you regret everything.
Some choices are made for you, no one asked for your opinion.
They just opened the gates and shoved you in.
You can try to turn around, but the gates are already locked.
Some choices are like an election, full of promises and silver linings, yet turn out to be campaign lies.
It's sometimes tempting to just refuse making them, but in this world, that is not an option.
If you don't make them, they will just expire.
Time doesn't stop, doesn't give you more time to think it over.
If you refuse, fate will decide for you, and no one has to tell you that fate doesn't always care.
Fate is like russian roulette, it just lands you with whatever it gets into its hands.
Be it an empty chamber or a deadly bullet.
Eventually, someone will get shot.
Don't ever think it won't get to you.
Every empty chamber just buys you time.
You always give me the hardest choices, where every option seems wrong.
Everything seems to backfire when it comes from you.
When you make me choose between remaining silent or speaking my mind, I know neither is an option.
Speaking my mind leaves me burnt, my problems just drive you mad and make you angry.
My problems become your problems, and problems are what you can't deal with.
Remaining silent leaves you hurt, claiming I don't share things.
Makes you angry, for now you have to guess.
Makes you hate me for killing your peace of mind.
So I made a choice.
I will give all I have to make sure you can't see through me.
You won't have to give me those choices when you don't know something's wrong.
No matter how hard it is, I will not let you see my tears.
I will pull up walls so high you wouldn't be able to climb them with the biggest ropes, the highest ladders, the largest catapults.
You don't know me, and it's better that way.
You pretend to want to spend time with me, just to get me where you want me.
Only to leave me standing in the cold september rain.
At least I can cry without you noticing, my tears mixing with the cold raindrops on my cheeks.
Maybe you do notice, but you also have choices to make.
Maybe you choose to ignore.
You chose to isolate me, you offered me a home and take away the one I used to have.
You made a choice for me, one I cannot live with.
I want to go home, yet home doesn't seem to be with you.
I feel like the Belle to your Beast, trapped in your castle of the love you have only for yourself.
You made your choices, some of them ruining me.
I need to get stronger so I can start making my own.
But for now, my hands are full.
I better start building those walls while you're still ignoring me.
While you still choose to remain oblivious.
I will fight to get where I want to be.
I will fight until I can stand up to you.
But until then, I made my choice.
You won't get to me anymore.