Conflicting Love (Jori)

Chapter Nine

Jade West's POV

A week passes by very painfully, and lonely. It's my fault though, I push away everyone around me. I only talk when I have to, meaning in class when the teacher asks me something. Even then, I glare at the teacher until they ask someone else. My so called "Friends" don't come near me when I give them my death glare, i've made it clear that I do not want to associate with anyone.

Tori tried to pester me again wondering if i'm okay, which I have no understanding of why. I've been rude to her ever since she got here, yet she still wonders about my feelings. I don't know how to think about it. Maybe that's why I hate her, well I just hate people in general so I don't know.

I'm in one of my writing classes right now not really concentrating on what the teacher is saying, I haven't been doing well in my classes lately. I need to change that so I don't fail them, it's just seems so unimportant at the moment. I haven't felt desire or passion to finish anything in the past week.

It sure doesn't help when all I see is girls surrounding Beck in the halls, or anywhere he is for that matter. It bugs the hell out of me, he's a man whore right now going on dates every night with someone new. I guess he wasn't really effected by the break up that much.

I'm not too upset about the break up myself, i'm more upset about the fact that the love between us died. I know its for the better that we broke it off, I knew it was coming. I wasn't interested in him and he wasn't interested in me no more, it's just a fact. I just hate the fact that it had to end, I don't wanna be alone. As much as this doesn't sound like me, I want someone to love.

I want someone to have with me, someone I can trust. I want someone I can cuddle with while watching horror films that make me laugh, I want someone who will come to my plays and support me. I want someone to fall asleep with. I need someone, everyone does.

That's probably why i'm most upset, because now I wont have anyone. I'm just alone again, who knows when someone I can stand might come along. I don't like many people, who even knows how I fell for Beck in the first place. Like Cat reminded me before, I hated Beck when we first met. 

" Psst. " I hear coming from behind me, the whisper was rather loud than silent. I and some other's look behind me to see where the attempted whisper came from. Cat sits behind me trying really hard not to giggle. She waves when she notices that i've looked at her. I roll my eyes before turning to face forward again.

" Psst. " I hear again making me sigh before turning around in my seat again, Cat waves again making me raise my eyebrows. 

" What do you want? " I try to ask with my nicest voice, I can't be too mean to Cat like I am to other people. I can't stand it when she cries, it makes me uncomfortable.

" Want to go to the beach tomorrow? " She asks with her innocent eyes and smile, I sigh thinking this over. The thinking doesn't last too long though when I remember that the beach is one of the many things I hate. 

" No. " I whisper to her turning to face the front again, there's no doubt that she's confused right now. Sooner or later, i'm going to have to explain why. Which is exactly what I have to do when class ends. Cat follows me out of the classroom repeating the word 'Please' over and over again. I hold up strong not letting her pleas get to me until we arrive at my next class.

" Cat, you can't follow me in here. You have to go to your own class now. " I inform her hoping it will get her to shut up.

" But come on Jade, why don't you want to go to the beach? " She wonders looking very confused and sad. Great.

" I don't like the beach. " I tell her which makes her have to think about what she'll say next to try to convince me to come.

" But Jade, it will be fun. Andre, Robbie, Beck, and Tori will be there too. " She reveals making me roll my eyes.