shattered

#19 - I Screwed Up

Ryan's P.O.V

How bad have I screwed up? Pretty bad. After our fight where she ran off, then I left, things only got worse for me.  As soon as I had gotten home, I immediately got scolded by my mom for leaving her behind when she was attempting to speak to me earlier. She wanted me to do the dishes before I went anywhere, and she was wondering why Evaligne had ran out on me. So now as I'm explaining the whole situation to her, she was sitting on the stool leaning on the kitchen island, while I was forced to do the dishes. I was putting away the last of the plates when she asked, "Out of curiosity, did you two have sex?" Her question made me drop the plate I was holding, luckily it was plastic so it didn't snap.

"MOM!" I glared at her, "I-I am too young for that, believe it or not!" The look on her face she had was making me think she definitely did not believe me at all. I bent over and grabbed the plate and put it away so I couldn't have anymore awkward eye contact with her.

"Ryan, you're turning 16 in April, and at sometime in your life, you will wanna do those things with someone special."

"Oh god mom, please spare me from the sex talk. I know how it works and everything, just please." I fidgeted around becoming uncomfortable, not because of the talk, but thinking of Evaligne and I having sex. I'm so screwed up, I need to fix things with her tomorrow. Later on, my mom and I finished our conversation on a better note with, "You better get your girl back!". It's a way better ending than, "Hey, my son, let's talk about the fact that I think you and Eva did it." Way better ending. But not a good ending for my relationship with Evaligne. I overreacted, she overreacted, fights happen, but she's the one who said that she didn't love me anymore. Truly, that's what hurt the most. I wonder what she's doing right now. I shouldn't be wondering, I should be finding her. I have to go to her house.

I nearly stumbled as I grabbed the railing to the stairs and bolted up them. As soon as I reached the door knob, I almost fell trying to get past my pile of clothes; the only unorganized object in my room. Not wasting any more time, I grabbed my shoes and left. This time chasing after Evaligne to make things right between us, not brake us apart.

I ran until my lungs were starting to burn. I always hated trying to get to Evaligne's house, because of Alex's house. Needless to say, I hate his house. And him, and everything this involves him. I used the shortcut and didn't even bother going any slower past his house.

After about three minutes more of walking, I made it to her house. My feet touched the front door porch step and I knocked three times consecutively. Oh please answer.

Within two minutes of knocking, I figured she wasn't home. Her blinds were open and I didn't see her anywhere. Checking every window I could see in, I came up with the conclusion that she definitely is not home.

Sighing, I headed back to my house, walking slowly. All of a sudden, I heard two people talking. I looked up at Alex's balcony and saw him up there through the vines. I'm glad he can't see me from this far down here. I mean if I could barely see him, then I guess it would be hard for him to see me. But what shocked me even more was who he was with.

Evaligne. She was talking to Alex! Out of everyone she talks to after our fight, she talks to Alex? What the hell?! I had to know what they were talking about. I pushed myself further against his fence and vines.

"Alex, you better explain to me why you did what you did." I overheard Eva say to Alex.

"Evaligne, I can't tell you how sorry I am for doing what I did to you. But I really am sorry. I feel like I'm worse than ever without you. I miss everything about you. I miss your beautiful face smiling at me instead of your pretty face being afraid of me." He's hitting on my girl! "That night was something I never would want to recreate unless I had your consent. I really have no excuse."

"You bet your ass you have no excuse." I mumbled quietly.

"But what about you? You were crying...and it's been killing me to know." Oh shit, he can't know about the fight, he'll try to steal her from me.

"Listen, Alex, I know that you're sorry but you hurt me more than anyone else has ever." I didn't hurt her that bad? "But I-I don't miss you because of what you did." She continued. "I was crying becau-because of you." She lied? Did she lie to keep our fight a secret? Does she even have feeling for me anymore? "I hate thinking about you because of what you did Alex!" She was almost yelling by now.

"Evaligne, I wanted to a-ask you something. It will sound crazy but I promise you it's for the better, for both of us.I want you to be my girlfriend again. To give me a chance. Forget about Ryan, he isn't who you think he is." I am going to beat him up for trying to get back together with Eva, my girlfriend. She doesn't even deserve any of this. The other thing that bugs me is that he told her to forget about me. That's bullshit. Evaligne wouldn't forget about me, would she? Fuck you anxiety. She still has feelings for me, Eva just needs some time.

"Alex! No! I will not, give you another chance after what you tried, and I won't for the fact that I'm with Ryan. I've known him for 6 years! What has he done that was so bad he won't tell me, huh?" Okay, she's probably seeing red right now. I heard some steps.

"You'll find out soon enough now won't you? I mean you're already with him and not me, so why don't you go run along and figure that out yourself? And when you find out what he's hiding, I'll be right here." His voice calmed down towards the end.

"Well maybe I already figured some of it out earlier!" She exclaimed. Right after she said that I felt nauseous with my anxiety. I heard footsteps that sounded almost as though they were both running away. Shit, I need to go, or should I stay? No I can't just leave her like I've already done today. And I will get my answers.

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i just wanted to say thank you all for now 600 reads! that's insane that only two or three chapters ago, we had 500! i love you guys. yes, even you, you silent reader.

and sorry not sorry for this update...

-emma⭐️