The Thoughts of a Quiet Person

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When I was in 3rd grade, my parents put me in therapy because I'd pinch my wrists if I did something wrong or was mad at myself. Those hours lit sessions on Tuesdays obviously didn't help because I still do it. But I think they just put me there because they were afraid it would lead to something else. It hasn't.

Even writing this, in wondering what would happen if someone I know read this. If it were a family member I'd probably go back to therapy. I don't think therapy would fix any of my problems. Ironic though, that psychology is what I want my career to be. I like to listen to people problems, even though no matter how hard I try, I never seem to help fix them. But being a psychologist seems interesting. Plus I'd learn how to talk to people.

Schools really should offer a "how to get a social life" class. I'm sure them no one would be sitting alone at lunch. At least I hope I wouldn't be.

While on the subject of school, I actually started writing this journal for an assignment at school. I'm supposed to write my own chapter and poem about myself. This is very difficult for me, because I have all this stuff that's ready to spill out of me. Yet, my teacher has to read and grade the assignment so writing about my possible anxiety and insecurities etc. would not be a good decision. I'd probably get sent to the counselor, then have to talk with my parents and again led to therapy yada yada . I'm just trying to forgive out how I'm gonna write this thing without revealing too much, but also making it personal. Ugh. Even if I did get some idea, it'd take me the whole class period to plan out how I'd execute it.

I do that a lot l. I think for an hour about something when I shouldn't been working, then there's no time to make it the best I can. Which is terrible because I'm kind of a perfectionist. Mostly in certain areas like my art and school work. Otherwise, let there be mess and mistakes!