$20 For You {D.H. & P.L.}

Screw It

Dan

Did I seriously just call him sweetheart. I couldn't have- I most likely didn-oh yep according to my phone I did. Thank you my dear phone for making sure my humiliation will stay there for me to bathe in, along with my awkwardness. You know with most of the school some level of terrified, when it comes to my name, it's a shock besides my exterior walls, I'm not completely like that? Key word here: Completely. I mean what can I say, I lived on the streets for a year, work two jobs and have a roommate, no parents, and I'm a senior in high school. I'm doing great at that thing called life. By great, we all know I mean failing miserably. Well at least I hope you do.

   It's not like I don't have dreams, trust me I sure as hell have dreams, it's just, the fact I was kicked out isn't helping my situation. Big round of applause to my parents for kicking me out for being gay. All because it 'doesn't fit with their ideals'.  I'm me, alright, there is no other explanation really. I'm just me, I'm Dan Howell. Pulling myself out of my bed where I was comfortably sitting before, I walk over to my dresser. Attempting to find my black joggers, which isn't hard considering most of my wardrobe is black. So I mean, I have multiple pairs. Looking at my box of cigarettes sitting on my dresser, and taking a mental note that I need more.

In my defense, I really don't smoke often, with one pack of cigarettes lasting me about 3 weeks. Yes, I know, laugh. I'm being honest though, I only smoke when really stressed out. Which is now. Grabbing my lighter, last cigarette, phone, and my earbuds I'm off to go to the store. Checking my pocket that I've put my fake ID because well... I'm not 18, before shoving my earbuds in, and making my way down the long series of steps to the first floor. The walk to the store isn't that far, like 15 minutes at max, so I begin my walk, right after I light this cigarette. Shit. Brilliant me for bringing my worst lighter, so instead of me looking somewhat like a punk aesthetic whilst lighting my cigarette, I look like an idiot. After what seems like FOREVER, I finally get the cigarette to light.

Now, beginning my walk, I take in a deep inhale of the killer-nicotine substance, and exhale it up into the sky. My walk is actually pretty peaceful, as there is really nobody outside. I'm proven wrong though, as I walk past a bunch of bubble headed girls, who whisper things such as, oh look it's Dan Howell. I'm honestly surprised they can get a date, and no it's not because of their blonde hair and pumped up lips, and nails that should probably be classified of a weapon. A lot of guys are chill with that stuff, there is nothing wrong with it, it's just, their personality. So air headed, and just bubbles in their own head, so for once I'm actually thankful for my freakishly tall noodle legs.

I'm kinda in a daze by this point, throwing my cigarette butt in the trash before entering the store. Hearing my phone buzz, I pull it out and see a text from my roommate Tyler.

Tyler: Hey Dan if you step out to go to the store, could you POSSIBLY MAYBE (please I actually beg of you I WILL PAY YOU BACK) could you get me some cereal, my usual kind.

Dan: Dang Tyler, okay and pay me back the EXACT amount DIRECTLY TO THE PENNY.

Tyler: Smartass

Dan: Ya know it roommie ;)

Tyler: Ewwww cringe, how do girls like you.

Laughing slightly before putting my phone away, I go to the cereal aisle, grabbing Tyler's typical box of lucky charms. The annoying music playing over the speakers, seriously could they get some better music. The off-white tiles that look like the last time they were replaced were in like 1942. Stopping by the office supply aisle also, grabbing a new, black spiral notebook. Yes I write, don't judge because well I love writing, it's honestly my last time that I have been doing since I was like 8. Walking up to the front of the store, I catch a glimpse of the alcohol.

  A familiar pink jumper catches my eye, with a bottle of vodka in their hands, and hurt in their eyes.