Split Apart

Chapter 1

THE TRAINS ARE always running. Out of the five factions, the Dauntless are the only ones who use them--and the factionless. The factionless whose bright, shining eyes are sometimes the only illumination in the dark trains. When I can't sleep and I long for the steady rhythm of the trains, I am lucky enough to glimpse them.
Tonight, though, my cart is empty, save the engulfing darkness. I can't sleep again, so I brace my hands on the handles of the doors and stand at the edge of the open cart. The wind is a razor, slicing through my jacket until I am bare. I don't care. I am shivering and numb, but I don't care.
I step back as Erudite headquarters and its dim lights come into view. From a distance, I can make out the silhouette of the looming glass buildings consisting of libraries, labs, and offices. Whether it is a computer or book, there is some source of knowledge in every room. But their thirst extends beyond knowledge.
Their greed is the reason why I didn't understand my brother's decision at first. Then two years passed, I became an official Dauntless, and the big picture became clearer. I remember the books in his room and think of how I had missed it for so long.
Caleb is now just Caleb. He isn't really my brother anymore. Faction before blood is what goes. We have lost the claim we had on each before the Choosing Ceremony. Perhaps we lost it long before.
When I have a task at Erudite headquarters, I sometimes see Caleb in complete Erudite wear with glasses he has never needed. I've tried twice to speak to him. The first time he glanced me coming and walked quickly in the other direction. The second time he actually looked in my eyes with such an intense look that I stopped in my tracks. In his gaze I saw a resolution.
Faction before blood.
Because he was Caleb. He wasn't a rulebreaker or bender. He would never consider risking the immorality of breaking a rule.
I didn't try talking to him again.
Suddenly the train is passing factionless homes, and next buildings belonging to the Abnegation. I remember the chipped sidewalks Caleb and I would play on; the identicle houses that went on toward the horizon. At night everything seems so unchanged and still.
I know otherwise. My mother tells me that the Erudite are trying to provoke the Abnegation through libel. As they had when I transferred. As they still are. I also know that some of their claims aren't entirely spurious.
An unbidden thought arises in my mind. I ignore it.
I settle down in a corner of the cart facing the open doors. The cold finally seeps into my bones and I regret not bringing along a second layer of clothing. I endure it until the Dauntless compound is visible.
Then I jump.

***

The mess hall is especially crowded and loud this morning. After all, today is the Choosing Ceremony. Exactly two years since I chose Dauntless. Last year I watched the ceremony take place, then ran with the new initiates. I didn't watch as they jumped off the building into the Dauntless compound.
Christina is laughing when I slide into my seat. As I pile food onto my plate, I listen to their conversation.
"I bet you there'll be twelve in all," says Christina. The former Candor has only lost a bit of her old habits.
Her hair is dyed a dark purple at the ends, a change my protests did not defer. She even has another tattoo on her wrist. It is of a heart with two letters inside. C and W.
"Maybe after the ceremony, but when they see the train there'll be ten," responds Will.
Then they see me, this couple who I feel I am intruding on. There relationship is two years strong. As they grow, I see less of each of them. Christina is occupied with her work at the shop, and Will spends much of his time at the control room.
"Tris will tell us how many there are, right?" asks Christina. "And you have to tell us what their faces look like when they have to jump."
I nod as I chew on my roll.
"Good luck with Four. I don't think he'll be pleased to work with a former transfer of his," this is from Will.
Will has spent more time with Four than me and Christina. Both of them work in the control room, keeping watch over the Dauntless compound. Will has told us that Four's computer skills are impressive for someone not born in Erudite. I have no trouble believing it.
"Tris," someone calls from behind me. I turn to see Uriah, Marlene at his side. "Good luck today." He says this with such a bright smile that it is infectious. Before I know it I'm smiling too. As he turns away I see behind him is Four, who stares at me for a moment. I look away quickly, my smile fading.
I haven't spoken to Four since Initiation Day. I dread having to work with him today and for the next month. It isn't that I'm scared of him, but of what he'll say.
I've avoided the truth for so long.
"Tris," says Christina, trying to get my attention. I look up to find both of them staring at me.
"Can we ask why you have to be instructor this year? Don't you have Ambassador duties?" asks Will.
"Yeah, isn't there some inter-faction unrest you have to deal with?" teases Christina.
I realize I've finished my role and I'm not in the mood for breakfast. I push my plate away. "It's my task for now." I stand to leave.
As I step out of the mess hall, I think of how Eric must be enjoying the torment he has bestowed upon me and Four. I wonder how satisfied he would be if he knew about our former relationship.
I steel myself for the coming day.