The Ghost [Marvel | Steve Rogers]

Chapter 56

Somewhere over the Atlantic

Spring 2015

"I didn't think it was something you needed to know. I didn't think it was important," she said quietly "and—and it wasn't a risk I was willing to take." Steve's gaze shot up to her, his brow furrowing, the pained bewilderment flickering in the Captain's eyes cutting painfully at her before he seemed to forcibly retrain his reaction. From her place roughly between then, Natasha's gaze fixed intently on Rogers.

"Steve," she said quietly, the redhead's tone calming yet cautioning. Nadine's gut churned again even as irritation was suddenly striving to drive away her discomfort. The sense that she was missing something—something important that both Natasha and Rogers knew—niggled at her. It couldn't be something so simple as a grudge left over from what happened in Washington, could it? It was one of the theories she'd been developing since Sokovia, once she'd been able to start thinking rationally on the subject again and the one she logically favoured. Her instincts said no, but rationally she couldn't dismiss the idea. When else would he have interacted with the Winter Soldier but then? She was fairly certain she had worked out exactly when the Winter Soldier had been unfrozen and active over the last fifty years —possibly even sixty, though she was less confident in that—and D.C. was the only time he'd been awake since Rogers had been pulled from the ice. And she was fairly sure the Winter Soldier wasn't active during the War when the Captain had been. So Washington was the logical link. It still didn't quite fit, though. And more frustrating still, it felt like the answer was staring her in the face.

But she just couldn't seem to figure it out. It left her feeling supremely uneasy and even more off-balance. And when Nadine felt off-balance she got defensive. Not that the lingering stress and fear of the last several days was helping there.

"I didn't expect to be working with all of you for longer than one mission to take Strucker's base," she snapped coolly. "I didn't expect it would matter! All I wanted was to get my daughter back, Rogers. In exchange for your help, I gave you Strucker. That was the arrangement. I didn't owe you any more than that. So no, I didn't volunteer it. Why would I?" Next to her Natasha flinched while Steve hesitated, though whether from her tone or her words she couldn't be sure. But his attention on her didn't waver.

"You didn't think we deserved to know why Strucker wanted Nina?" He asked calmly. Nadine paled. What did he mean by that? Did he know? Her pulse thrummed anxiously. But he either didn't notice her reaction or he ignored it. He just continued on undeterred, though, if anything, his tone softened, sounding almost sad. That alone was bewildering. "You didn't think we might deserve to know that? That we might even need to?" She bristled then, her self-control faltering the in the face of her growing panic.

"It was my business and mine alone, Rogers. Not yours. I don't owe you all my secrets or even an explanation just because we worked together. I don't owe you anything! It is none of your business how I choose to protect my daughter! She was taken because someone spilled the secrets I kept from all of you!" As soon as the words spilled from her mouth her jaw snapped shut, angry tears springing traitorously to her eyes. But she forced them away, refusing to drop Steve's unreadable gaze.

What good would they do, anyway?

"He was my secret," she continued, fighting the way her voice threatened to tremble as she steered the topic back to his question and away from Nina. "It's a secret I've done everything to protect ever since I left that place, the place where I was trained, where I knew him. It was my penance, to live with what happened."

Steve's gaze dropped, frustration lighting in his eyes even as they slid shut. His hand rose to pinch at the bridge of his nose. He was trying to keep himself calm, she realized, trying to keep his temper in check.