The Ghost [Marvel | Steve Rogers]

Chapter 4

Upstate New York, USA

Fall 2015

Her mom had been right. As had Natasha. And Captain Rogers.

Nina wasn't wholly satisfied with Avenger training.

As much as she hated to admit to herself, she was beginning to wonder if she'd made a mistake in being so eager to go along with the Twins and join in with their Avenger training. It was what they wanted, definitely. And it suited them both, really. But Nina? She thought she had wanted it. Truly, she had. The rush that day in Novi Grad had been exhilarating. Helping those people? Helping Captain Rogers? After feeling so helpless in the days following her abduction, it had been amazing to feel useful. To feel capable. But now she couldn't help but wonder how much of that reaction had been just that. Reactionary.

She was pretty sure that was what her mom had been alluding to the last couple weeks. Nadine had been supportive if noticeably reserved about Nina's decision to sit in on the Twin's training. She wasn't a genuine recruit, of course, but with her upbringing at Nadine's side, her own Enhancement—the traits she'd been born with, rather than the ones the Sceptre had given her, of course—and her experience in Sokovia, Natasha and the Captain hadn't seen the harm in letting her join in. Even her mom had seen the benefits enough to go along with it.

And while Nina wasn't so sure she actually wanted to be an Avenger someday, she was self-aware enough to admit that the training had still done her good. She felt...better. She wasn't sure how else to put it. She'd been a mess of emotions and hurt and uncertainty after Sokovia, especially after the talk with her mom. And given how her own feelings of uncertainty in her future had been echoed in the Twins? She supposed it was only natural that she'd seen their solution as one that could work for her too. Especially since it meant she got to stay by them. Thankfully, her mom seemed to recognize that too.

Though it had been a few years since they'd last moved, Nina had recognized the restless shift in her mom that had once signalled Nadine's intent, even eagerness to move on. Pacing, distracted, thoughtful expressions when she thought no one was looking, long stretches of silence as she disappeared into her head or onto a computer. It had all felt a great deal like her mom's stages of planning just before their last move, the one that brought them to Vienna.

It was yet another part of why Nina had leapt at the opportunity of joining the Twins, she realized now. Even though there was no immediate danger of it happening, just thinking of having to start all over again, of having to leave everything behind, made her uneasy enough to make her palms clammy and her heart jump to her throat. Honestly, she wasn't sure how she hadn't realized it before. It seemed so obvious now. She hadn't wanted to leave.

Not the facility where she, strangely enough, felt safe after all that had happened, or the people who understood what she'd gone through. But really, it was the idea of never coming back that really did it. Of never seeing the Twins again. Or Natasha. Even Captain Rogers or Hawkeye. She didn't want to lose her new friends, or her new aunt...okay, that one was perhaps a bit of a stretch. She'd seen how close her mom and Natasha were. There was no way Natasha wouldn't have managed to stay a part of their lives if her mom had whisked the two of them away.

But even now that she recognized the why, she was all the more certain that she didn't want to leave. Not exactly.

Even now that she was coming to wonder if the training had really been more of a coping mechanism or a safeguard than anything else. Not that she hadn't still enjoyed it.

She'd been very sure to tell Captain Rogers that when he'd pulled her aside the other week to chat about her take on her training so far. She had already seen him pulling aside Wanda and Pietro—she was pretty sure he had even talked to Vision—so it hadn't been totally unexpected when he'd asked for a word.