The Ghost [Marvel | Steve Rogers]

Chapter 28

Berlin, Germany

Spring 2016

Natasha wasn't sure which emotion was stronger just now: anger or terror. And it was growing increasingly difficult to keep both in check. She couldn't imagine how much of a mess she'd be in if it weren't for all her training in keeping herself objective, in keeping her emotions securely in hand.

Then again...if it weren't for her training, she wouldn't be in this position in the first place.

She would've grown up, a normal girl living a normal life...

Moot point, though. She was who she was and she was in this situation now. And her terror and anger were successfully contained so that if they presented outwardly at all, they came across as concern and annoyance only.

No, wallowing in her fears for her sister and Steve and Sam and in her anger at all three of them getting themselves into this mess when they should've known better—and for threatening what they'd all had at the Compound, if she was being honest—wouldn't accomplish anything.

Now, it was going to be up to her and Tony to get them out of this.

God, how had this all gone so wrong?

What made it worse? She couldn't exactly say she didn't understand what had driven them to do what they did...to go after Barnes. She knew when she'd asked Steve to stay out of it, for him and Nadine both to stay out of it—her sister had ignored her plea and her messages to do just that, so Steve had been her last chance to get through—that it had been a fool's hope that they would. And he hadn't been wrong when he'd said between him and Nadine, they had the best chance of bringing Barnes in. Natasha knew that. But to get involved now?

And that wasn't even accounting for the personal reasons that would compel both her friend and her sister to go after Barnes. Not with the history there. Not with Steve's friendship and Nadine's debt and Nina's very existence in the mix.

Still, she had hoped they would both see reason...that they would see rushing in would only make things worse for all of them, including Barnes.

She'd hoped that they wouldn't risk breaking up the Avengers.

She wasn't keen on the Accords either. She saw exactly what her sister did. They had debated and discussed and even argued the Sokovia Accords at length after Secretary Ross had presented them with the reality that the Accords were coming, both with the rest of the Team and between the two of them. She knew there were deeply troubling components and risks built into the variety of sanctions and regulations. But that it was the UN? That had to balance out the risks. It was a quickly drawn-up document. Of course there were going to be problems to start out. She'd known that before she'd even read them. It was a hugely reactionary document. Of course there were going to be issues to fix.

But they were already law. That was what she and Tony seemed to get that the others didn't. There was only so much to be done. There were only so many options. And getting shut out by refusing to sign them? It made a statement, to be sure, one Natasha could respect Steve for deciding to make given the kind of man he was and how strongly she knew he felt. Compromising on things as important as the Accords? It wasn't something he could do. And she could respect that. In some ways, Natasha was jealous that his convictions were strong enough to take that stand.

But that stance wouldn't change anything. In this climate? Given the poor public perceptions Enhanced people and their allies were facing? Steve's stance easily had the potential to make things worse. No, changing things was what working from the inside would do. What compromise would allow them to do. This was what she'd been trained for. To infiltrate, to learn and to influence. The Red Room training hadn't just been about killing, after all. It had been a big component, yes, but there was more to being the kind of master operative she had been moulded into than just fighting and killing.