Sunday. Daniel did not have any duties for the day, so he doesn’t need to attend the early church services. He was tired from sleeplessness anyway, as he always was, so he attended the afternoon church service, the one where Sophia was always attending as a choir. Daniel couldn’t help but think even as the lecture was delivered. The lady was right in front of him, although in a distance, and in a situation where they couldn’t even have eye contact. Daniel was keeping his cool, but he was extremely frantic. He doesn’t know if he should avoid his eyes, or to purposely stare, or to act casual. He doesn’t know which approach to use first.
“All right, just tell me what the problem is.” Jimmy suddenly asked Daniel, who was already sitting in front of the desk and doing his duties in the finance office. “What?” Daniel asked confused. “You look so uptight, you can’t seem to focus. What’s the problem?” Jimmy continues to ask in his boisterous tone. “These subscribers, they’re so many, and I’m sorting them on my own.” Daniel replied in a similar note, evading the topic that Jimmy apparently sees. Jimmy was always the humorist of the finance department. Although he’s a grown-up man, he always jokes about things and things just doesn’t seem serious for him. “Papa, don’t bother him already. He’s got a lot of things to do.” Marie butted in, hugging Jimmy from behind. Marie is Jimmy’s wife, also a member of the finance department and another humorist. With her husband, they’re a symbol of amusing and strong pair. They were always so funny and sweet at the same time. The two then flirts jokingly in the room as they usually do. Daniel just looks at them smiling upon their antics. Then he looked down, erasing his smile and biting his lips as he continued what he was doing. The couple couldn’t help but notice.
For months he tried all approaches that he could. He tried approaching, but the lady would deny even looking at him straight. He tried acting angry, but the lady never seemed to care. He then acted carefree and casual, acting like it doesn’t matter if the lady talks or not, but he could not fool himself. He cares so badly, he hangs on because there is no closure in the situation. It was clear that Sophia was avoiding him, but Daniel keeps holding on to that fact, that she is avoiding him. He feels that she still care, due to the fact the he is still on her mind, although in a negative way. But that fact makes him believe that he is still a ‘someone’ for her. That fact he couldn’t let go, though the situation says that he must. He does not know the direction he must take, that’s why he stays still in his painful ground. He wanted a closure, so he decided to take it.
Saturday night. There was a meeting every night for that week as preparation for the upcoming mid-year thanksgiving. The church gathering has already ended. Daniel then slowly stood up and walked outside. He knew that the girl was on the choir; therefore, it would take her more time to go out, so Daniel proceeded to the washroom. Inside the cubicle, he tries to calm himself from his exploding thoughts.
“I will end this today... I will.”
His body was somewhat shaking and he is indeed fretful and unsure, but his intuition is pushing him into it. He then tried to reassure his thoughts. “Daniel you cannot think twice this time, you did your serious prayers, all you need to do now, is to believe.”
Just then, Daniel came out of the cubicle & faced the mirror. “But what if she left already? What if I took too long that she went out and left?” doubt was in his head once again, so he deemed in himself, “No Daniel, she is right there outside when you open the door, your timing is just right to meet her. Then you will talk to her, and finally put an end to this once and for all.” He then stood straight and walked towards the door; he calmly held the knob and opened the door gently.
There she was, in a distance in front of the door, ready to go out. She saw Daniel, but obviously, she again avoided him. Daniel’ thoughts were again scribbled, time seemed to go slowly and unwillingness and fear started to set in as his thoughts faded to recalling their situation in the past few weeks.
