Not Used To It

XI

^*********Henry*********^

I've fucked up a lot in life but my biggest fuck up and probably most regrettable one was messing with Charlotte. I broke her down so much and I didn't stop once to realize it. It hits me everyday now but when she said she straightened her hair cause of me,  I instantly remembered her saying in 7th grade how she'd never let heat damage her hair ever again. I'm no expert, but her hair now is bonefied straight and I'm sure it took a lot of heat to get it that way.

On top of that, I found out she's not even in LIMP anymore because she missed another test for which they didnt allow her to make up. She missed it because she spent all night awake and crying. Why was she crying ? Because I couldn't leave her alone for one day.

I went from being her favorite person to scum in one summer. I was really a dickhead and there's no justifying that. Doesn't mean I'm not going to make up for it with every breath I have. Sometimes I just find it hard to not be so hard on her.

I'm used to bickering and although I remember the times where we did talk like nothing, I've changed too much to do that. I've grown up a bit and I'm not the same Henry I was before. Sadly, Charlotte isn't the same as before either.

"Hey Char, you awake ?" I whisper to her. She turns to face me in bed.

"What's up?" She asks me.

"I'm so sorry. I will never stop apologizing because you'll forever have this horrible image of me." I say and she touches my chin.

"Hey, listen. It's fine. I know you're trying and I know it's not gonna be easy but I do know that you want to make the effort. Call me stupid but I believe you. I always have." She says, whispering the last part.

"Charlotte, no. Don't. All that negative shit I said about you isn't true. See this is my fuck up. How am I going to tell you that you're beautiful when you'll think about the times I told you to go home and try again ? How am I going to boost your confidence and hype you up when I spent so long tearing it down ?" I express, truly frustrated. I roll away and get up out of bed. I look down at Charlotte on the bed. She sits up.

" Henry, get back in bed." She says tiredly.

"I think I should give you some space. I don't want to hurt you anymore." I say and I get my phone and start to head out.

"Hart, get your ass back in this bed before you miss out on me." Charlotte says sharply and I just sigh and get in bed. I sit on the edge with my back facing her.

"Ugh, asshole." I hear her mutter. Before I ask why I feel the bed shift and she gets up to stand right in front of me.

"Now listen to me and listen good. I'm tired, it is the middle of the night and I want to sleep. With that said, I constantly find myself wondering what to believe. But I choose to believe that people say mean things when they're mad or aggravated and for some reason around me you were always mad and aggravated. I know you have a tendency to lash out on the nearest person and whoop dee fucking doo it was always me. I made myself target #1 and okay I accept that. Yes you had me fucked up every day and I accept that. I'm looking past that because life fucks over everyone and if we can't forgive how the hell will we accomplish anything ? Exactly we won't. Can I go to sleep now ?" Charlotte expresses. I reach out and hug her, burying my face in her stomach. I feel her pat my back.

"Fuck Charlotte, I love you." I murmur into her stomach knowing she can't understand.

"Yeah, yeah you're welcome." She says. "Now please, I will talk to you in the morning." She sighs.

I release her and she climbs back in bed. She actually goes straight to sleep. I decide to talk a walk. I get up and I grab my phone and my keys. I check on Aaron and the boys before I leave. I lightly go down the stairs. I slide my feet into well my slides and I exit our lovely apartment. I lock the door behind me and just decide to wander around this hotel apartment thing.

Before I even make it down the hall to the elevator, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see Charlotte texted me. 'Call me'. I immediately call and she picks up on the first ring.

"Aaron is crying," she starts but she gets interrupted by our baby who screams loudly into the phone.

"I'm coming." I say and I hang up then race back to my apartment. As soon as I'm inside, I hear Aaron crying. I kick off my slides and go upstairs. I check on the boys to see that they haven't been woken up which is great. I walk in to see Charlotte pacing with Aaron in her arms. She turns around as soon as I come in.

"Oh thank god. I don't know what's wrong. He drank half of his bottle and wouldn't drink anymore. I burped him, his diaper is still dry and I checked it to find nothing there. He wasn't sweating, he's not hot and he's not cold. I am all out of ideas." She spews out over Aaron's cries.

"Maybe he needs some water ?" I suggest not really knowing what to do. Charlotte's face lights up as if a lightbulb just went off.

"Oh my god, you're a genius! We usually give him a bottle of water when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I didn't bring one up! That's it!" Charlotte says and I feel stupid because that's not why I thought of water. "Here take the baby." She says and marches towards me. I take Aaron from her and try not to touch his skin with my hands since I didn't wash them when I came inside. Charlotte kisses my knuckles and then disappears to go get the bottle I presume.

I rub Aaron's back and rock him gently. His cries lessen but he's still pretty upset. This kid can go on, he just doesn't give up. He hiccups and I guess now he really needs that water as he breaks into a bout of hiccups and cries.

"I'm sorry son, Mommy is getting that bottle as fast as she can but she's still tired. You woke her up little man." I say and I poke his side a little which makes him stop crying and look up at me with his big, wide, beautiful eyes.

"Hey, this is the first time you've looked at Daddy with a straight face. That's not nice." I say. His mouth opens and he drools a little before flashing me a smile that fills my heart with warmth. Charlotte comes back up. Aaron hiccups.

"Fatherhood looks damned good on you Hart." She says as she puts the bottle in Aaron's mouth. He instantly starts drinking as she holds it up for him.

"I made him smile. It was so cute." I gush and she just chuckles.

"It's nice you guys are bonding." She says and I smile.

"We'll have our time." I wink at her and she rolls her eyes but I know she's feeling flushed because she bites her lip. Aaron spits the nipple out of his mouth and burps loudly then giggles.

"Excuse you bud." I say and he just yawns then like that he goes back to sleep. Charlottle takes him out my arms and I watch her walk him to his crib. She looks so damn gorgeous with everything she does. I watch her waist, her hips, I catch every jiggle around her thighs and butt. She's super intoxicating and I'm almost thankful she doesn't know it.

Selfish bastard.

I swat my conscience away knowing that it'll give me critique for the rest of my life. I focus back on Charlotte who plops down in bed and looks up at me from where she's laying with her eyes half open. Talk about beauty that needs to be worshipped.

"Henry, it's late. Come to bed. We can discuss everything tomorrow. Please." She says then yawns. She closes her eyes but she holds up a finger and beckons me to come to her, or probably to bed. I take a deep breath, this woman will be the death of me.

I turn off the lights and get into bed. Charlotte wakes back up and she smiles at me then covers her mouth as she yawns again. She kisses my nose and goes back to sleep. I kiss her forehead and just admire her. Her skin glows even while she's resting. This is amazing, I was a dick to treat her the way I did. I had no reason to always try to get a rise out of her and though it's fun to push her buttons I should have realized that I was testing her limits instead which I'll never do again.

"Night Char." I whisper.

"Mmm, nighty night Hen." She whispers back before she finally settles into sleep, which I can tell by her slower breathing pattern. She's truly something.