Not Used To It

X

"You know, we could have been here a lot earlier if you weren't so damn slow." Henry spits at me. I clench my jaw and squeeze my fist.

"Just shut up and watch the kids. You realize it was your fault we were late. You underestimated how long it would take to get the boys ready." I shoot back at him. He grunts and then scowls at me.

"You took forever with your damn hair !" He retorts.

"I'm sorry that I straightened my hair and have to make sure it stays straight. I'm sorry I don't have naturally straight hair. Sue me for fucking being black." I spit at him and I walk away with Aaron in my arms. He has no idea that I only straightened my hair so everyone would leave me alone about it. It wouldn't even be that big of a deal and he and his stupid ex didn't harass me nonstop.

I find a tree a little ways away from the playground but close enough to where I can keep an eye on all my kids. I check out the grass around the tree and when I'm sure it's clear I put down my towel that I'd had in case the kids needed to wipe their faces. I sit on the towel and rest Aaron on my lap, facing me. He smiles at me and I smile back.

"Hey bubs, you like Mommy's hair right ?" I say and he just keeps smiling.

"Yeah, I know. Mommy's hair isn't naturally straight but it's prettier this way." I say and Aaron's face drops.

"Trust me, it's less harassment and less pain with it straight." I say and Aaron's frown decreases.

"Hey lighten up bud." I say and he just makes a noise.

"I'm gonna take that as you asking me why I straightened my hair. Lets talk about. Daddy used to have this girlfriend and they terrorized me once high school started. I was going natural and I was so excited about having been natural for 2 years already."

I looked down at Aaron to see him looking at me.

"Good, you're paying attention. This is really painful for Mommy," I stare at Aaron and he seems to smile as if encouraging me to continue. I look up at the kids to give myself something to focus on so I don't cry, " Okay well first I had no idea what was going on, everyone was trying to stick gum and wrappers and little things in my afro puff. Then everyone was talking about how if I was going to wear my hair like that I should go back to where I came from which I won't tell your sensitive ears. But oh bubs it was so disrespectful to hear everyone saying those things."

I close my eyes and put my head against the tree.

she doesnt even realize that her hair is distracting, it's so annoying, how can anyone want that mess on their head ?

she probably couldn't afford a perm, let's help the poor thing out so she can finally fit in for once in her life

she's not a black panther and she's lucky she isn't enslaved walking around like that, I'm so telling my mom this

ya know maybe Charlotte, if you would straighten your hair, you'd be pretty and you wouldn't be picked on

for your skin color, you're pretty but that wretched, god - awful, untamed and unkempt hair just looks so fake, take it off

I open my eyes and look at Aaron who has his little fingers by my lips. I kiss his fingertips and hug him.

"Bubs, I don't know how I put up with it but I did. My hair was gorgeous, I think I'm going to go back to wearing it natural. I'm done listening to everyone else." I say and Aaron smiles then claps his hands together.

"Thanks baby," I kiss his forehead "you're a great listener." I tell him and I start to play peek a boo with him.

"Mommy ! Mommy !"  I hear 3 familiar voices all calling me. The boys all run up to me and plop down next to me.