Your Lie In April

Savior

It was the music. The freedom, the feeling of letting go. It was feeling invisible. It was truly living, because of her. It was always her.

             The first time I ever saw Kaori, her blonde hair flowing against the doves and light pink cherry blossom trees, I knew my world was changing. From the first note she played, everything became colorful. 

           I was in the dark, always alone. I cut myself off from society after my mother died. I couldn't take anything anymore, and I didn't want to. I completely gave up. But she saved me from my depression, she showed me the light, despite how far gone I was. Kaori wouldn't let me go. She inspired me to play the piano again. She told me to keep playing because... yes, I remember, because something compels us to. That day we played together, her violin and my piano, I felt hope rising in me for the first time since the dark swallowed me whole. Our music felt so real. I knew my purpose again; everything was going great.

I sat up from my bed, put on my jacket, and went outside. The dawn breeze was crisp despite it being the beginning of Spring. The roads, houses, and cars were all darkly lit but becoming more bright with the sun almost peeking over the mountains. The only sound belonged to a few songbirds who danced along the telephone pole lines. I took a stroll downtown, hands in my pockets, with my head down. I stopped when I came across the familiar opening of Courage bridge. I slouched over the railing and concentrated on the lapping of the slow moving river.

It had it's own melody and story. I could recall every moment with Kaori here. With my eyes closed I could almost feel her there, an arm reach away. The sounds of the water took me back and she was standing there with a smile across her face, "There are tons of musicians in the same boat, i'm sure. Ones that think 'i'll be darned if I do this.' Even so, you pick it up again and sit before that score. And that's how you create the most beautiful lie of all." But she's gone. She simply left me with her words and memories. But i'm still afraid. Afraid of stepping on that ledge and plunging in. Afraid of what others think of me. Afraid of being on my own again. I'm alone again.

I threw my legs over the railing and watched the sunrise. It cast beautiful rays or yellow, red, and orange across the water which glistened too bright for my eyes. I remember thinking that of Kaori, I thought she was too radiant for me to bare. She was just so bright... Instead of looking away, I stared back at the glowing fire, as if daring it to burn me as well. My eyes teared up until I was actually crying. Whether it was because of her, or the sun, i'm not sure. I gave up and looked down, letting my eyes adjust.

My vision was dark and disoriented so I drew my sleeve across my face. I found myself looking at brown shoes. Familiar ones. Both scattered, as if thrown off in a haste. Before I knew it, I was sprinting. My legs pushed as if they had a mind of there own. I ran past the bridge, 'futher, futher', my mind kept telling me. I tripped on a root but got up in an instant. My legs were aching. I kept running until I was in the park. The Japanese Cherry Blossom trees were budding, their beautiful branches twisting and expanding. I spotted dark stockings thrown into one of the trees. I grabbed them instinctively and my legs carried me to a familiar scene. My heart stopped and I just stood there, painting. I couldn't move; I was in complete shock. My eyes trailed up the thin thighs and pink fluttering dress and the blond ponytail waving in the wind. She was crying, like the first time we met. Kaori.