Your Lie In April

Secrets

"It's too cruel," I whimpered. I reminded myself it wasn't real. How could it be? She's gone. Maybe the world was taunting her in front of me, as if some game. Kousei, look what we took from you! But then again, Kaori was standing in front of me, a moment, a second, a step away. I could see her. She was there. And that's all that mattered to me.

Kaori locked her beautiful grey ocean eyes on mine. Each of her tears reflected of the pain and sorrow we both endured. Her lips formed into smile. She jumped down from the circular structure with her golden hair flying behind her. My body moved on it's own and before I knew it, I had my arms wrapped around her waist. She's real. I bent over and started sobbing into her shoulder. I felt her hand pat my head reassuringly but her chest was was shaking. She gripped my jacket and cried into me and I squeezed her tighter. Her hair smelled of Spring flowers, early mornings, and home. That's what she was to me, home. I would never let her go again. "Kaori.. Your back!"

She chuckled between crying, making hiccup noises. "Even dead, I'd never leave you."

I stiffened. I wanted to keep holding her like this forever but I released her, and studied her face, "I don't understand... If you did di-" I stopped myself before I could finish the word I despised. "Then how?"

Her cries of laughter faded, as did mine. She had that serious somber look on her face that I remember could replace her smiles in just a moment. "Kousei, I'm dead," she spoke softly. "You do understand why I'm still here, don't you?"

I tried to speak, but the words caught in my throat. Do I know why she's here? Why she's alive? What is she talking about? She didn't survive the surgery... So she's a ghost or a spirit? But then how...? Before I could ask what she meant or what's going on Kaori crossed her arms disapprovingly. "Stupid Kousei. I swear, sometimes you can be so dense!" She frowned and shook her head.

How was I being dense?! Before I could retort back at her she broke into laughter again. I stood there in utter confusion, but the sight of Kaori, hunched over with happy tears in her eyes, made me smile. I thought about how odd that felt. Something about this I missed.. I couldn't even recall the last time I was truly happy or even smiled. Not since then. Kaori brought me back from my thoughts when she stood up abruptly. Her eyes were clear and her face was flushed with a rose color. "I have about two weeks before I have to leave. When the Cherry Blossoms are gone so am I. But that should be enough time to accomplish our goal..." She pondered on the thought, pouting.

"What goal-" Kaori silenced me again by placing her index finger to her lip with a smile, "Our secret ok?"

With a giggle, she put on her leggings and shoes. She grabbed my hand and she guided us down the road. "Where are we going?"

She stopped when we came across a street. She completely ignored me while looking around for something. I noticed a few cars were roaming the streets, probably people going to work. She took off once more towards my house. We stopped at my doorstep and I looked at her with a frown. "Why are we at my house?" I asked.

She wore a smug look in response to my complete confusion. "Did you forget that you have school today?"

I gasped in horror. I started frantically thinking. "I did... oh no." I reached for the door but hesitated. I looked back at Kaori. "You'll still be here right?"

She held my gaze, "Meet me by the park after school."

I nodded my response. "I'll be waiting for you," she murmured.

I shut the door after one last glance at Kaori. I stood there with my back to the door; my mind was whirling. I tried to process it all: seeing her again, Kaori being alive, and our promise I didn't quite understand. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I quickly got ready for school and headed out. Kaori wasn't there anymore, but I knew she wouldn't be. She's probably planning something crazy. I chuckled to myself. This is good, I thought. Feeling alive was always so easy with Kaori around.

***********************

The moment I slid the door open everyone in class whirled their heads around to looked at me. I knew I'd be late but being the center of attention made me uncomfortable. I shifted my weight onto my other leg and spotted Tsubaki looking at me with shock. I hadn't been late to school yet, but obviously I was never psyched or it. I got to school on time everyday and sat in the back like I always have. Never causing attention or speaking in less I had to.

Sensei gave me a cold glare and told me to sit down. I slid into my empty desk in the back and felt the eyes travel off of me, except for one pair. I looked up at Tsubaki who averted her orange-gold eyes immediately. Her face reddened as she slouched and played with her pencil.

I spent most of the class peering out of the window, watching the day pass by. I was thinking so heavily about what the interaction with Kaori could mean that I didn't even notice the lunch bell go off.  When Tsubaki threw two desks together, I nearly jumped. Watari was standing at her side with a smirk, "Hey scaredy cat! Is it ok if we sit here or will you claw us apart?"

He slung his arm around me laughing. I pushed up my glasses which slanted  upon impact. "Why would I attack you?"

Tsubaki sat down and opened her lunch. "Kousei, you acting weird today. You were late not the mention the entire class you just stared out of the window. Look at your leg now!"

I noticed for the first time that I was fidgeting my leg. It shook back and forth in response to my anxiety. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" I protested.

Watari retreated to his seat next to me and pulled out his own lunch, which reminded me I forgot mine. It's not like I had time to prepare my own this morning. Tsubaki read me like a book and pushed a few coins in my direction.

I muttered my thanks as she began talking with Watari about sports. I grabbed chips and a soda out of the vending machine and sat back down. They laughed and spoke words I couldn't comprehend. The thought of seeing Kaori again was all I could think about. I made an effort to prove Tsubaki wrong so she'd stop worrying about me, but I new it was pointless. It was obvious something was going on with me. Especially to Tsubaki. She new me too well, we'd been friends since we were children after all.

The day pasted by incredibly slow. I kept taking peaks at the clock but time seemed to drag on forever. The moment the bell sounded for school ending I bolted out of the door, before most people even got up from their seats. "Wait Kousei!!" I heard Tsubaki call after me.

I continued on. I had a feeling Kaori didn't want everyone involved. It would just complicate and arise forgotten feelings. Tsubaki sprinted to my side, keeping up my brisk pace. I went to my locker and replaced my shoes. "Where are you going? You have to tell me what going on!!"

"No I don't!" I snapped, then added more lightly, "Sorry. I'll see you later ok?"

Without waiting for her disappointed reaction, I took off. I could feel her gaze on my back until I was running out of sight. I arrived at the park in no time and my eyes raked around me, trying to catch a glimpse of Kaori. She wasn't here. I felt my chest tighten as I began to panick. No... no..... She isn't gone right? She didn't leave me again... right? "BOOO!" Someone grabbed me from behind and I yelped.

My body tightened in fear but I turned to see Kaori with a satisfied smile. She bursted out laughing and pointed at me, "HAHAHA! Your face!"

I picked my jaw up from the floor and yelled at her, "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!!!"

I sighed and placed my hand on my chest, feeling my erratic heartbeat. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Kaori said between chuckles.

"You don't even look sorry," I grumbled.

She stepped forward, surprising me again. When she pressed her ear to my chest I could feel myself blushing. "Hmmm... Woah! Your heart is going crazy! Must've been a good scare. You look like you've seen a ghost!" Kaori stood up, and winked.

She walked towards a pink and blue stitched blanket laid carefully across the grass. There were two straw baskets with different foods and plates. "We're going to have a picnic!!" Kaori threw her arm to her side with excitement and pride at what she'd put together.

"This looks great!" I exclaimed.

But before I could sit down I heard bushes rumbling across the lawn. I turned to see what was going on. I gasped as Tsubaki and Watari crashed through the bush, and landed in a big hump in the opening.