i hate u, i love you | jack avery

🕊 f o u r t e e n 🕊

Emma's P.O.V

I look in the mirror, disgusted by what I see. Who would want this? No one needs this. They're just waiting till I leave. All of a sudden, I'm in a hospital gown. I frantically pat down the gown, confused at the sudden change.
I look in the mirror again, this time all my hair is gone. I stay still. Unable to take in the fact that this is now my reality.

In the mirror, stood behind me suddenly emerges Jack.
"Ew. I don't want you" he says, disgust plastered on his face. Slowly, all the boys begin emerging with disgusted looks clear on their face. Then Logan appears.

"Go away already." He says with no remorse, looking at me as if I'm some sort of animal.
"Leave" they all chant simultaneously as I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to face it.
Everything begins to spin into a whirlpool of darkness till I hear my name being called, pulling me back...

"Em! Em!" I hear Logan's familiar voice and his arm shaking me awake as I bolt upright, the oxygen disappearing from my lungs. He frantically grabs my inhaler which I quickly grab and begin breathing in and out as it becomes steady.
I look at Logan who's fighting the urge not to cry.

It's only been getting worse, it's almost been a week, tommorow I have the appointment in which I lose my hair due to chemotherapy. It's gotten so bad to the point where I moved in with Logan due to his insistence as it was dangerous for me to stay alone.

No words were said and no words were needed. He pulled me into a tight hug, I was just enjoying his embrace while I still had it.
The boys hadn't been over since the day I found out due to their extremely busy schedules. But that's good for me since they don't have to see me degrading. However, they are coming over today so I have to put on the best act I can.

We pull apart from the warm hug,
"You're gonna be okay, cmon, breakfast is ready" he says, ruffling my hair before leaving.
I sigh before clambering out of bed and downstairs.

"Morning Evan, Lydia and Brendan" I say cheerfully. I'm trying not to be a Debbie Downer. I don't wanna let this illness change me.
"Here's breakfast kiddo" Lydia says smiling before placing down a plate on the kitchen island along with a bottle of varieties of pills.

I finish eating my breakfast all whilst giving the pills a death stare. I hold the pills in my hand and pout,
"Do I have to Loges?" I say.
"Of course you do, you're not 5 cmon em" he says urging me.
"Sorry dad" I say sarcastically before downing the pills along with water causing everyone to laugh.

As of now, the only people who knew were Logan, Lydia, Evan and Brendan. I really didn't wanna tell the boys but I knew I had to, especially since tommorow I will lose my hair and I'm pretty sure they're going to notice it's not just a "bold fashion statement."

But I know I could never muster up the courage to tell Jack. I just can't. I love him too much to break his heart like that.
All of a sudden, my phone rings with a message alert, interrupting my train of thoughts.
I unlock it to see a message from Jack:

From Noodles🍜❤🌎:

Hey princess😘Coming over in abt half an hour, see ya soon💕

To Noodles🍜❤🌎:

See ya soon noodles😘

I smile before turning off my phone. Nope. There's no way I can tell him.

I look over at Logan who seems to be waiting for a text message,
"Chloe?" I ask to which his head snaps up.
"Yeah um...I might've kinda sorta fucked up" he says running his hands through his hair.
"What happened?" I ask worriedly.