i hate u, i love you | jack avery

🕊 t w e n t y - f o u r 🕊

Jack's P.O.V

Loss is the side of love they never warn you of..

That should you lose your lover your heart is buried with them. When the dirt hits the wood it buries your soul too. There is no coming back, and so the world becomes as if made of shadows and every breath feels hollow in the chest.

I watched as people were paying their respects.
I read my eulogy. I had to, it was her dying wish, I couldn't get through it without tears. It's hard to believe she's gone, Emma Baker, the light in everyone's lives, the bundle of joy, the love of my life, is gone. Forever.
"I love you Emma" I whispered, hoping that wherever she was, she'd hear me as I put my flowers down.

All of a sudden, as I turn around, I see a man with a briefcase handing a handful of papers to Logan and the boys. As they scan their individual papers, tears are brought to their eyes as well as small smiles.
Letters. From Emma.

A small man with a bag approaches me and pulls out a frame and a paper,
"Mr Jack Avery right?" He asks, I nod.
"I'm so sorry for your loss, Ms Baker wanted you to have this" he said as he handed me the items.

I open the letter and begin reading with tears in my eyes,

Dear Jack,

Stop crying idiot.

I lightly laugh through the tears at the first sentence.

I'm so sorry Jack, for all the times I've broke your heart, including this one. I'm sorry that I left you. I'm sorry for acting like I don't love you when you needed me. But Jack Robert Avery, if you for one second ever doubt that I never loved you then you truly are the world's most stupid boy. I love you Jack. I'm sorry for not saying it sooner. I love you more then you'll ever know, you will forever and always mean the world to me, and nothing can change that, even if I am gone.

I fell in love you and God knows how and when. But I did. And I'm so lucky to have had someone like you in my life. Everything about you is so imperfectly perfect. Your eyes that mesmerised me every time I would look at them, those perfect noodles that I'm going to miss so so much, that pearly white smile that would rarely come out. Do me a favour Jack, smile more. Live life more. With or without me, you can always do it. Do it for me.

I'm gonna miss your laugh, the way your angelic voice sings me sleep, the way we'd cuddle up together and bury my head in the crook of your neck in a horror movie, the way I'd lay my head on your chest and you'd play with my hair. The way your lips feel on mine. I'm gonna miss it Jack. I'm gonna miss you. Unfortunately, there is no return address. But it's not goodbye. I will see you there, I will wait for you as long as i have too. Thank you for the memories. I love you.

-Emma

Behind the letter was a framed photo strip of our first date, when he had took them in the photo booth. It was the best day of my life. I stare at the photo, and the longer I stare at the gorgeous girl I had fallen deeply and madly in love with, the more my broken heart aches for her. I let the caged tears out once again, hoping she'd see me and come back.

I had hope it was all a dream, I could just wake up and she'd never have cancer, she'd never be broken-hearted, she'd never had suicidal thoughts. She'd be happy. Just like she used to be, the Emma that lights up the room. And it would just be and her together, because that's all I ever need.

But it was a living nightmare.

I stayed back for a while, clutching the photo frame close to me. I stared up at the sea of stars, hoping she'd be there, hoping she'd be watching over me right now. Part of me wants to believe it, but the bigger part believes I'm all alone, and I chose to believe the bigger part, I've got no one beside me that can make me laugh and cry like Emma. I will never love anyone like I loved her, and she left me, alone.

What I once treasured was now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. It's a strange thing to lose something you love more than the world which you once had, like a limb torn form your body without a chance to save it. The door that was once open and welcoming was now locked and disinviting.

She had left me; I was all alone.

Needless to say, nothing was ever the same again.

A/N:
Its not always happily ever after. I hope you enjoyed this story guys and I'm sorry if you didnt❤I know it was short but I'm going to move onto another story and it's another Daniel Seavey fanfic since that's what most of you guys messaged me saying you want another one. I will be releasing it very very soon so keep an eye out and I will also put it in an author's note in this book when I do. Thank you guys for reading this book, it really does mean a lots, thank you for voting and commenting, and comment what you guys thought of this series❤See you on my new book. Mkay. Byeee❤