i hate u, i love you | jack avery

🕊 t w e n t y - o n e 🕊

Emma's P.O.V

"Emma..."

"Wake up..."

"Get me the needle!..."

"I love you Em, wake up..."

The voices faded in and out as did my vision. An array of faces were set in front of me. Doctors, nurses, Logan, Daniel, Corbyn, Zach, Jonah and...Jack.

My vision finally began to focus as did my breathing and hearing. I could barely remember what happened. I shot upright trying to breath as my lungs settled.
"Wha-What happened" I said trying to control my breath. All strength was drained out of me,
"You had a really bad attack, so we called the paramedics" Logan said softly, sitting at the foot of my bed and then hugging me lightly as if I was fragile China.

I sure felt like it. I had no more strength left and I was confused I had a thin breathing tube attached to my nose, I tried to stand up but ended up collapsing.
I felt arms pull me up; needless to say, I was disoriented as fuck.
They placed me on a wheelchair.

Once I snapped out of my dizzy uncomprehending state, I realised I received a phone call. It was regarding me and my funeral.
"Let's go" I said as I hung up.
"Go where?" Corbyn asked concerned.
"To prepare for my funeral" I said bluntly and wheeled myself out as they reluctantly trailed behind me.

I got in the car with help from the boys and Jonah drove us to the Church in which they'd practice their eulogies.

-

I sat in front of the podium, trying to keep my tears in.
First went Corbyn, "Emma Baker. Everyone knew her name. She was a bundle of joy, the light in everyone's lives. She could bond people together, make you smile in the darkest of times. I'm just saying, cancer chose the wrong girl. Thank you Emma, for everything you've done, thank you for helping me and Christina when we had problems, thank you for making me smile, for making us smile. Thank you so much. We all love you" I let a tear roll down my cheek as did Corbyn as he left the podium.

I wiped it as Jonah came on,
"Emma, you were crazy. You made us go crazy. We did wilder things with you than we've done in our whole life. You taught us how to live, how to be young, that life isn't just about working till you're done. Life is about love, happiness, strength. You are a warrior, and no one is ever gonna forget that, no one will ever forget you. We love you Em, we miss you" he finished in tears and so was I.

Next was Zach,
"If Emma was here, I know what she'd say, "Stay in school Zach, don't ever let your heart be broken by some girl, stay happy, make your friends and family proud, make me proud" so tell me Emma, now who am I gonna text or call in the middle of the night when I can't sleep or when I have a problem? Call me selfish but I need you, we all do. We all love you. I will try every night, to ask you for advice, ask my big sister for advice and pray that one day maybe, just maybe you'll reply. I know. It's impossible. But so was an amazing girl like you getting Cancer. Never forget that we love you and we always will." He finished, his face red, puffy and tear stained.

I let out a slight audible sob as he left the stand.

Daniel.
"Emma Baker. My best friend. She would understand me when no one else would. The scary part is, she would always listen to me, but I rarely asked how she was doing. How she was feeling. Maybe if I had asked, then she'd tell me sooner, and I'd be there for her sooner. We can't change what happened, we can't prevent the cancer, but we could've made her happier. Thank you Emma, for all the smiles, the laughs, the advice. Cancer is a real bitch for hurting someone like you. You don't deserve this. I love you so much, you'll never stop being my best friend." his eyes were red and puffy, his face blotchy and tear stained.

I can only imagine what I looked like right now, probably like a crying mess.

Logan. Oh boy.
"My little sister is gone. My little sister is gone, yeah, no matter how many times I try to convince myself that's true, I can't comprehend it. I always thought that that her and I would live to see the day where I attended her wedding and got to say,
"It's yo big day" but I guess I never really understood how lucky and blessed I was to have her in my life, and how grateful I should be to have someone like her by my side. If it wasn't for her, me and Chloe wouldn't be together, if it wasn't for her, let's be honest, I'd be dead already considering the stupid things I do. She would always make me laugh till I cry, always make me smile till I can't anymore, and now she's making me cry till there's no more tears" he lightly laughs through his tears.

"I love you Emma. I love you so much." He finishes, he looks like a crying wreck- but so do I.

Next was Jack. But he was nowhere to be seen. I don't know if I should be hurt or not. After all, I am the one who told him to stay away. But I feel a huge pang of pain in my chest.
"I'm sorry bub" Logan says referring to the fact that Jack had left.
They all had left and I was staying behind hoping he'd show up, but after around 5 mins, I gave up and turned to leave.

"Emma Roselyn Baker"
A familiar angelic voice spoke from the podium.

"If you said her name a couple months ago, I'd block my ears and gag. But for what reason? It wasn't because I thought she was disgusting. Hell no. She was breathtakingly beautiful. She still is, everything about her is perfect, her stunning blue eyes, captivating smile that lights up the room, perfect hair that falls in front of her eyes, her angelic voice, gorgeous laugh, the way she makes anyone laugh, her sass, her kind yet stubborn heart, the ability she had to jump onto anyone because of how small she was" he lightly laughed through tears, so did I.

"But it was because, I loved being around her so much, whether I realised it or not, I was in love with her at the very start, I loved grabbing her attention. I didn't realise it until recently. Yet I still managed to fuck up. Emma is my everything, my world. But she wants me to stay away from her, to not talk to her, to leave her alone, she says she's bad for me. Why? Because she thinks she's a grenade, she's afraid to hurt me. Even though I'm the one that's only ever hurt her. And that's painful. She won't say she loves me. She won't let me love her. But I can't stop, I love you Emma Roselyn Baker. I love you so much, more than you'll ever know, don't ever forget that" he finished, I could hear his sobs.

I covered my mouth to mask the sound of my sobs, I turned around to see him in a wreck. I opened my mouth to say something but I forced myself not too. I can't hurt him. Unwillingly, I left the room.

Leaving him in a million pieces.

A/N:
In the last chapter I unintentionally used a TFIOS reference so that's what inspired this chapter but I hoped you enjoyed it. Vote and comment my lovelies❤Mkay. Byeee.