Honey, I'm a Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream (MB/S)

//Because im done with my life (not actually

I'm really lazy, and this speech turned out longer than I thought, so...

Thank you Siger for those lovely words, and thanks to all of you for coming, it means an awful lot to Minnie and I that you're here to celebrate with us, firstly that you managed to find your way here despite the disturbing lack of vowels on the road signs!
Now, those of you that know me well will know that I need no help with speaking in public, but as it's a special occasion I did some research and found this piece of advice on my speech, to make sure it has a good beginning, and a good ending. But most of all to make sure they're close together! So I'll do what I can, although Minnie has assured me that she will step in if I'm too boring.
Firstly I'd like to thank Siger and Violet. From the first day I meet you, you've really made me feel like a part of the family for which I can't thank you enough. You've also made me more tea than I thought possible, so thank you for that! I'd also like to thank you for raising such a beautiful, kind and caring daughter it doesn't take long in your company to realise where she gets it all from.
And while we're on the subject of fantastic children I'd like to say thank you to our dear Alyona for raising such a charming, handsome and modest young man- although, I've no idea where I get those qualities from! In all seriousness though, thank you for everything you've done for me, you've always been there for me.
And thank you to all three of you for your help in making today happen, you've all done so much behind the scenes and we couldn't have done this without you. So if you could all be upstanding, I'd like to raise a toast:
To the Parents
I'd like to say a few words about the bridesmaids Irene, Mary, Olivia and Jane, I'm sure everyone will agree when I say they look fantastic tonight. You all did a wonderful job of getting Minnie to the venue on time, thank you to Jane for being a supportive and caring sister! Thank you all for your hard work today.
And if you could again be upstanding I'd like to raise a toast:
To The Bridesmaids
I'd also like to say thank you to my Best Man, Sebastian, as well as the other groomsmen. We've been close for as long as I can remember and you've been wonderful today, you've kept me calm and got me to where I needed to be on time, thank you.
And thank you to James for doing a great job ushering today, everyone was sitting in the right places and you managed to search handbags and frisk pockets with utmost discretion. Well done!
We'd also like to say Diolch yn fawr to Anti Nest for her beautiful singing during the ceremony. And thank you to everyone else who has helped us organise today, I'm sure I've missed people, but thank you all it really has been a wonderful day so far!
And last, but by no means least, my Wife.
I was planning on saying that part in Irish, but I kept getting bean chéile
and báirseach mixed up and I didn't think calling Minnie a dragon was the best way to start a marriage!
There have of course been difficulties along the way, but fortunately we've managed to remain on speaking terms throughout.
Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to firstly, say thank you for all of the hard work that you've put in to planning today, making the flowers, burning everyone's names into the place settings and of course, for turning up! Today definitely couldn't have happened without you!
And secondly to tell you how beautiful you look today. I know that you hate being the centre of attention like this, so I won't go on for too long, but I've never met anyone as kind, caring and as selfless as you. You light up every room that you walk into and I feel incredibly lucky today to be your husband and I look forward to many more happy years together.
So for the last time tonight if I could ask you to raise your glasses to my beautiful wife:
To Minnie!
Anyway, I think that's probably enough from me so I'll hand over to my best man who up until now was my oldest friend and who I have a feeling may be about to become my newest enemy! Over to you, Sebastian!

-Jim's 750 word wedding speech that Wattpad never lets me send in one part-