Honey, I'm a Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream (MB/S)

Rules to Dating My Bestfriend.

Dear -Sherlock_Holmes
As you're likely aware, Mary is my best friend in the world and I'm extensively protective over her. That being said, she seems to really like you (heaven only knows why, but I'm starting to think she has a type), so I figured I'd give you a few "heads-ups" that could possibly save your life...from me.
Break any of them and I'll kill you. Got it? Wonderful! Let's get started!

1. Make her feel like any less of the Queen (pun totally intended, Mare-bear) she is and I'll make you feel a lot less like a human being. Probably via mutilation.

2. If you start seeing another person behind her back, congratulations! I'll solve that problem for you by making you unable to see! At all.

3. Physically harm her and you will be tortured with such torture that no one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with. Capeesh?

4. Break her heart and I'll break yours. Literally!

5. Never, under any circumstances, should I hear of anything that involves Mary equating as a negative thing pass your lips, lest you wish to lose them.

And there! Just a few ground rules, nothing much, really. Oh! And I almost forgot: Make her cry and you'll wish you'd never been born.

Toodles!
~JMx