AS BAD AS YOU

Chapter Four: What about now ?

Do you know how it feels when you face a wall you can't pass ?

Right now, I was facing a wall just like the one in Game of Thrones.

I was trapped between revealing my true self or keeping myself undercover. Jake knows, Melissa knows maybe other people. I'm fucked up. I want to run away again but I have to face my life. You know, it's so much easy to run away from anything.

"What are you going to do now that you know ?" I asked in a whisper.

"To be honest, I don't really know." he was looking at me with a face I couldn't read.

"What if we make a deal ?" He asked seriously.

"No way in hell." I retorted.

"Why ?"

"I don't make deals."

"You're exactly like him !" He exclaimed "I don't make deals." He said mimicking with an high pitched voice what I just said. "It's exactly what he says to his enemies !"

I looked at him with wide eyes. Who is he in the gang ? Someone important ? If he wasn't important he wouldn't have heard my dad speaking to his enemies.

"First of all I don't speak with this high pitched voice and second of all I hate you so get out of my way before I beat you to death." I said menacingly.

To my surprise he got out of the way pulling his hands up in surrender. When I reached the door he started to speak again.

"He knows you're in town with your brother."

"Yeah and ?" I asked him.

"What are you waiting for ?" He asked back.

"The truth."

And I was gone.

I dialed my mother's number. I needed to know the truth about our father. Did he really run away when he knew our mother was pregnant again ? Or did she lied to us ?

"Hi mum, it's me."

"Hi sweetie ! How are you ?"

"Not so well and you ? When are you coming home ?" I asked directly.

"Well, I'm coming home tomorrow night, we could speak about what's going on then ?"

"Yeah, sure. See you then." And I ended the call.

When I reached the parking lot I forgot to put back my large t-shirt so I was in my sport bra. Everybody was staring at me. I didn't look at them and rush to Nathan's car where he and Mel were waiting for me. Nathan threw his cars key at me and went back to school with Melissa. I think something is going on between them but I'll see later. Right now I need stitches and I need to throw some punches. Once in the car I put my t-shirt around my bloody hand and start the engine a bit too hard.

I drove to the nearest hospital for my bleeding hand. The blood dried in the t-shirt and on my hand but it looks really bad. I went to the counter where a nurse were. When she saw my hand she ran to me and took me to the doctor nearby. He stitched the deepest cuts and put a bandage around my hand. He gave me painkillers and told me not to do something stupid again such as breaking a car window with my fist.

I may have some anger issues since we left Seattle four years ago. When I started fighting I handled them but now it's not enough anymore. I have to find a way to slow them or I will regret many things.

I was driving home when an idea pop up in my mind. What if I go and see my father face to face ?

I arrived at home run to my room, I swap my nerdy clothes with my black skinny jeans, my combat boots and my leather jacket. I took my gun just in case someting bad happens. Maybe I'll use it to get answers from Jake. It could be fun.