Heart of the Pyramid

chapter 2 - the artifact

Jin Lao buried his surprising fondness for Shii Meng in his heart and raced to the next room. As he entered the chamber, he was grabbed on all sides by slimy tentacles. He was picked up in the air like a fucking toy, "fuck you assholes!! you think you can stop me from taking the artifact? fuck you!!" he closed his eyes and looked into his heart, he began summoning the Phantom Spiderleg energy.

He began chanting the spell and suddenly six sharp limbs made up of turquoise fog snapped out of jin lao's body and cut through the tentacles holding him, my Phantom Spiderleg technique always comes in handy, Jin thought.

He joined his hands in a praying gesture as he landed on the floor. He opened his eyes slowly and saw a faint yellow light glowing some twenty paces ahead of where he was standing.

He could see a chair, a throne sort of. It was turned to the other side so only the back was visible. A glowing red aura was surrounding it, four long sharp metal spikes came out of the chair and turned around by itself, revealing the one who was sitting on it, it was a humanoid looking creature.

It was crouching on the chair with his legs folded close to his chest, his skin was pure golden in color. "Wait a minute, is this the one who I think it is?" the creature had long dark fingernails and rickety limbs and had old leathery kinda skin.

Jin walked towards it and said, "heyyy fucker, are you yaku? look asshole, I went through hell to reach this place, got my fine clothes all smeared with mothvar blood, these delicate garments are made from threads only available in shaolin you psycho!! It's not that cheap!!! don't you have any fucking sense you motherf- "

Jin didn't even understood what just happened. The creature just pointed at his direction with his palms open and bang!!! he was thrown back to the wall. Jin somehow got up to his feet, took out his rayban and wore it, nice shades, he thought.

Jin closed his eyes, brought his hand in front of his chest and made an ying yang symbol out of thin air while performing the praying mantis battle stance.

He brought out his sword and kissed it like the last time, then he dashed towards the creature.

The creature suddenly leapt out of the chair and showed it's true form to him. He had four insectoid limbs attached to his abdomen by some sort of mechanism, there was also a filthy looking hole in his chest and the skin around it was throbbing. His face was very humanoid but pale and he had small horns on his scalp, he had no hair or eyebrows. The creature smiled in a deadly sort of way revealing his sharp teeth and showed him his middle finger.

 "You think you can defeat Yaku? the lord commissar of the yangtze monastery? fuck you cunt, fuck you hahaha." Jin kept on attacking the creature with his sword, slashing at it with utmost intensity, but the creature blocked every attack with ease, seamlessly dodging and blocking his sword with his metallic legs while simultaneously punching him with his hands.

Jin got smacked right in the face and he landed a few feet away, head first on the floor. "Fuck!! this asshole needs a special dish, not the usual one, but something special, he needs to fucking die only then I could search for the artifact in this chamber, I wonder where it is though, fuuuuck! my head hurts."

He somehow got up to his feet and summoned the the spirit of the Lonely Tiger, he spread his hands and closed his eyes and a tiger's face appeared in front of him. The whole chamber filled with the roar of the Lonely Tiger spirit, Yaku screamed and charged at Jin.

He started slashing away at Jin with his mech legs. He roared and pounced at Yaku with full force. Jin was fighting him with the tenacity and tireless intensity of the shaolin Lonely Tiger, he found an opening in Yaku's defences and decided to take advantage. Jin bit him on the neck with a ferocious growl and ripped off the skin and the filthy decaying tissue.

Yaku screamed in pain, Jin immediately let go of him and started spitting disgustedly, "fucking gross, fucking shitty taste!! motherfucker!!! hey yaku do you even take a shower man? fuck you, yaaaak!!" He pulled out a strawberry milk shake bottle from his holding bag and drank a lot from it, "ahhhh, thank god, strawberry milk shake, never leave home without it," Jin kissed the bottle and caressed it a bit, he wanted to do more but at that moment, "you fucking thief, behold my evil web assault, hahaha," Yaku said with menacing laughter.

The hole in his chest enlarged a bit and a blinding ray of light came out of it, filling the whole chamber. Jin had to cover his eyes because of the intensity of the light, but then the light started dimming and in the hole of his chest, Jin could see a small object.

It looked like a pyramid, a small red pyramid. Yaku pointed his hands towards the ceiling and started frantically chanting and then a burning red web like substance shot out of his chest-hole and hit Jin where he stood. The thing carried him along with it and stuck to the wall behind, trapping him in it's burning hot mesh. "Fuuck! it hurts, you motherfucker!!! i'll kill you for it, oh fuck! it burns wtf! what is this thing? don't tell me you are using evil kung-fu, fuck youuu ahhhh!!" Jin kept screaming and shouting in pain, the web kept getting hotter and hotter the more he struggled.

Yaku laughed and said, "you bitch, you thought the commissar of Yangtze wont have anything up his sleeve? hahaha, fucking dickhead, I am Yaku Dang, I made a pact with the dark one, If I could deliver him what he wishes by harnessing the power of the ronin pyramid, he would make me immortal!! haha, I won't fucking let you ruin my plan you little shit."

Jin smiled and said, "Yaku!! do you really think the dark one wont take anything precious from you in return for the gift he granted you? grow up man, you should know one thing that when the devil gives, he takes back thrice in return, you are already cursed you pathetic fuck, fuck youuu!" Yaku screamed in anger at these words of Jin and charged at him with his sharp metallic limb held up in a total assault position.

Jin knew he has merely seconds before his head gets separated from his body, he closed his eyes, time slowed down and for a moment he could see everything floating around him, he was searching for a ray of hope in this trance and then he could see, wait what?? a beautiful lady wearing traditional han school acolyte uniform, and she looked just like, "wait a min, Shii Meng!? wtf are you doing here?"

Shii kissed him before he could finish what he was saying. She touched his face and said, "pull the pyramid out of his chest lao jin." Jin immediately snapped out of his trance.

Yaku was just seconds away from ripping him apart but then Jin whistled and a snake sprung out of his holding bag and shot towards Yaku's chest and, "ahhhhh! noooo you motherfuyywyeeyteteeeeeeee !!!!!!" Yaku fell to the ground, he was dead.

A minute later his face started deforming and twitching and then his head exploded, brown fluid got splattered everywhere. The web which was holding Jin vanished and he landed on the ground. He held up his hand in the air and the snake came flying back into his palm carrying the red pyramid.

Jin showed the snake the royal gratefulnes gesture of the 5th temple of shaolin, "hey dude just put me in the bag already, don't patronize me bub," the snake said. Jin quickly put the snake back in the holding bag, he then examined the artifact, it was still gleaming with a dim red light.

It was beautiful, it was deep red in color and the surface was smooth and shiny. He smiled and said, "finally I have it, fuck, had to go through so much mess for this," he put the pyramid in his bag and began thinking about Shii Meng, the beautiful spirit, was she a han school student when she was alive? and why and how did she help me?

Jin couldn't remove these thoughts from his head, he took out his cellphone and called his best friend zhan, "yo homie, could you summon a ride for me and send it via appshare? yeh , yeh, well I have it, hey heyy can you do it or not? well I don't have much Qi left in my body right now, I am feeling like a grandfather who just had vasectomy, yeah yeah, thanks bruh." Within seconds his phone beeped and a beautiful yellowish cloud appeared in front of him, Jin hopped on it and the cloud carried him out of the monastery and flew into the busy night sky....

to be continued....