I kept asking why. Why not me? Why her? Why not love me instead?
I need answers, reasons rather. Explain to me why it wasn't me. Am I not enough? Or I don't seem like a lovable person? Either way, you never chose me but I kept loving you.
At that moment, it felt like you were the right guy for me. Like I've been spending my whole life just to find you. Luckily, I've found you but you never found who you were looking for in me. You're in search for someone else. And that's when the struggle started.
I'm a trier. I've always tried to catch your attention everytime our paths crossed. I thought I'm making a progress. I've hoped that you were finally noticing me. But I was wrong. I was only assuming everything is falling into place and you falling for me.
I'm full of spirit. I don't give up so easily. I have guts to get what I want but I never did understand why I didn't have now. So I asked myself why? Again and again until I've decided to tell you that I'm inlove with you. It was scary, tragic and it felt so unreal.
It was painful afterall. It was like reading fairytales that never ended the same way in books. I've made all the memories inside my head to became romantic as possible. You can't blame me for hoping. You can't blame me for sprinkling romance in those few moments we shared that you don't even remember. You can't blame me for being in pain but you can blame yourself. You can blame yourself for not giving me a chance. You can blame yourself for letting someone who loved you as much a you loved her go. You can blame yourself for choosing the wrong person. And you can blame yourself if you wanted me now after you rejected me.
But guess what? I've forgotten the pain you caused me. I remember, I'm a very forgiving person and I would still want you to be happy and be loved by someone. I want to see you grow and be a man. I want you become less of a failure and more of a trier. I know you're a good person that's why I've fell inlove with you and you deserve a lot more love. Don't worry about me.
Our story may not be the same as in fairytale books but mine is. I've realized, there is always someone stored by the universe. Someone who will be the man I've always wanted you to be. The one who wouldn't let me sprinkle alone all the romance. Someone that will choose me over and over again. And that someone is the man I have right now. He loves me more than I expect. I'm happier now.
I loved you but I wasn't for you. Somewhere out there, there's someone who will love you better than anyone else will. Go seek for that happiness, you deserve it.
