I'm badly hurt. I can't feel physical pain. I think I lost it. No tears escape from my eyes. Maybe, I was too tired to cry. I wasn't even hurt from all the curses they've said. It's my fault. My body can't stop from trembling. I can't get up. My legs aren't cooperating, so as my whole system.
How will you actually respond when they've told you, you've lost the man you love?
How can I tell myself that it'll be alright when I'm actually looking into his cold dead body?
How can you convince me to take a rest when he is at an eternal rest?
It driving me insane. I don't know what to do anymore. It was my fault for leaving behind. If only I've listened. If only I had given him the time he asked.
"5 minutes" he begged.
But my mind doesn't want to hear another lie. I want to hug him, tell him that everything's okay now but I didn't because that will only make me want him back. I want him to tell the truth but it felt like the time I have given was already over. And the next thing I knew, he's gone.
What have I done?
I want to wake him up. To say sorry but he wouldn't open his eyes. If only I had given him 5 minutes, maybe, he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be caught up in an accident. I was a selfish bitch. I was so afraid to be hurt to the nth time. I thought I've had enough. It was just 5 minutes to fix everything but I've let it slipped.
I should have listened. I was so fixed with the idea that he'll just feed me up with more lies. I was a coward. The time he offers the truth, I've turned him down. I've killed the man I love.
